The Twisting Knife of Loving You
by Mrs Pepperpot
Summary: Set 4/5 months after the end of season 3: Beth Greene has the highest regard for Rick Grimes, but is it more than that? He is battling his own demons, and his feelings. Can he ever let another woman into his heart? In a post-apocalyptic world there is no forever, only for now.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is set around 4/5 months after season 3 of The Walking Dead ended, because it's been said that time will have moved on by 3-12 months by the start of season 4. I'm rating it T, but please be aware that there will be depictions of upsetting events, but I've tried not to make them too explicit.**

**Thank you for choosing to read this fic, and please leave a review if you have the time, as I really value constructive feedback. - Mrs P.**

**I own nothing related to The Walking Dead, I just love the show and the characters.**

* * *

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 1

Beth Greene shivered and wrapped her sleeping bag and blankets tightly around her. The cold winter nights were really starting to bite now and she felt chilled to the bone. Carol shifted about restlessly on the bunk below her, and was evidently also struggling to get warm.

"It's as cold as a witch's tit in a brass bra," she suddenly exclaimed.

Beth giggled at her friend's colourful phrasing.

"That was one of Ed's sayings; he was such a charming man," Carol said with sarcasm.

"Y'know I'd never wish him back, but I could sure use a nice warm body to snuggle up to," she said longingly.

"Daryl might be willing to oblige," Beth said half in jest.

Carol snorted out a short laugh by way of a reply.

"I don't know, he didn't seem at all interested when Karen was flirting with him," her young friend wanted to offer some small ray of hope.

"That don't mean nothing, besides she's the type that's willing to bat her eyelashes at anyone if she thinks it'll do her some good. She was laying it on pretty thick with Rick, earlier," Carol said.

Beth didn't know why, but that last bit of news made her insides twist a little. She knew she held Rick in high regard, they all did, but now she began wondering if there was more to it than that.

"Was he interested?" She asked warily.

"Rick? He humoured her, but I don't think so. It's still too soon for him, after Lori," Carol replied.

Beth wasn't reassured, and she didn't trust Karen. There was something about the whole business that made her feel uneasy, and she couldn't shake off the feeling.

"I guess we'd better try and get some sleep," she said but feared it would be an impossible task.

* * *

Beth sleepily boiled the water to make up Judith's bottle, whilst she cradled the baby close to her chest. The infant was fussing and she was trying to calm her.

"Not long now, Judy," she said soothingly.

It had proven to be a restless night for Beth, full of strange broken dreams, and it left her feeling weary. She would have welcomed the chance to grab a few more hours of rest, but Rick had to go on watch, and when he'd come and asked her if she would look after Judith, she found she couldn't refuse him. Beth closed her eyes and pictured him, with his hair all mussed up from sleep, and an errant curl hanging over his forehead. She thought about how he smiled when she had repeated Carol's colourful phrase about the cold. Her very vivid dreams had been full of him, and she wondered why that should be.

"Hey, need any help with that?" Karen broke through her reverie as she walked into the makeshift kitchen area.

Beth tried to politely spurn her offer of assistance, but she was persistent.

"It can't be easy for Rick, having a teenager and a baby to take care of. He's lucky to have folks who are happy to help out," Karen said as she helped mix the baby's bottle.

"We take care of each other, that's just the way it's always been," Beth shrugged.

"He must get lonely though, after his poor wife, y'know? Anyways, I know I do," the older woman pondered out loud.

The conversation was making the young blonde feel very uncomfortable, and she looked for an opportunity to bow out.

"Thanks for your help," Beth said smiling as sweetly as she could.

She took the bottle from Karen before she could say anything more, and retreated back to the safety of her cell with Judith.

* * *

Hershel gathered the faithful from the group around him, for what had become their daily ritual of prayer and thanksgiving. He had become the unofficial guardian of their spiritual well-being, a role he took very seriously. He opened his bible and began to read the passage that he'd carefully preselected. He couldn't help but notice, as he struggled to make himself heard, that a few of the other older folks were doing a lot of sneezing and coughing. It was the time of year when colds and flu tended to take hold, and that wasn't good news for the group. Once their session ended, Hershel tried to tactfully discern if anyone was displaying any obvious symptoms he could use to make a diagnosis. He determined that one of the older men appeared to have influenza, and he wondered what should be done about containing the spread. Hershel saw that his youngest daughter was in her cell and he went over to speak with her.

"Bethy, go find Rick for me. Tell him that I need to speak with him, urgently," he said in a low voice.

"What's wrong, daddy?" She asked with concern.

"I think we could have a potential flu epidemic on our hands, and we need to take action sooner rather than later," Hershel explained.

"What about Judith?" She motioned towards the infant who was sound asleep in her crib.

"I'll watch over her," he said as he carefully lowered himself down onto the bunk and propped his crutches against the wall.

Beth went off to look for Rick; she knew he was still on watch but not his exact location. She soon spied him atop the remaining guard tower, and was dismayed to see that Karen was with him. She sighed as she opened the door and started to ascend the stairs to the viewing platform. She could hear that they were chatting, or rather Karen was, but she couldn't make out what was being said. Rick had already turned to anticipate her arrival as she came to the top of the steps.

"Beth, is everything alright with the baby?" He questioned as he walked towards her.

"She's fine, but I need to speak with you, privately," she emphasised the last part.

He gave her a quizzical glance and started to ask the other woman if she would mind leaving, but Beth butted in.

"Actually, it might be best if Karen took over watch here for a while, it shouldn't take too long," she said and tried to intimate that he was needed elsewhere.

Rick eyed her questioningly but he handed his rifle over to the dark-haired woman, and then followed the young blonde out to the prison yard.

Beth glanced upwards and could see that the other woman's eyes were fixed on them. She grabbed Rick by the elbow and steered him well out of her sight and earshot.

"Hey, what's all this about?" He was perplexed by her actions.

"Daddy needs to speak with you, he thinks that one of the old guys has the flu, and it could spread around the group if we don't try and contain it," she explained.

"Oh, crap," he exclaimed as they entered the cell block and went straight to find Hershel.

* * *

The members of the group with flu symptoms were moved into another cell block, cleared for the purpose of being a quarantine area, to try and minimise the spread of infection. But it had already taken hold in almost half of their number, and it wasn't limited to the old folks or the kids. Maggie, Glenn, Tyreese and Michonne had also succumbed. The rest of the group were under mounting pressure as they had to care for the sick, maintain the defence of the prison, and they were running low on supplies. Rick convened a meeting of his remaining inner circle to formulate a plan of action.

"I was thinking that Hershel and Karen could coordinate caring for everyone here. Daryl, Carol and Sasha could take watch, and be on hand in case anyone takes a turn for the worse. I'll take Carl and Beth out on a supply run; there's that town out west that hasn't been too badly picked over as yet," he suggested.

They argued it out, and Hershel and Karen raised objections about Beth going on the supply run. But Rick was adamant she would be able to handle it, and that he would need the extra help to get all the stuff they needed.

"I think that I should trade places with Beth, she'd be better off staying here with her father, and taking care of Judith," Karen argued.

"Weren't you saying yesterday, how you'd be only too happy to look after my daughter, if ever I needed you too, huh? You ain't backing out now, are you? Rick questioned.

"No, of course not, but I..." she began.

"Good, that's settled then," he jumped in to shut her down.

Beth wasn't sure about the plan, either. But she wasn't going to voice her fears, and question Rick's faith in her. If he believed she could do it, then she was going to give it her best shot, and try not to disappoint him.


	2. Chapter 2

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 2

Rick stole a glance at Beth as he drove them towards their destination. She looked anxious and was fidgeting with her hair. He wasn't sure about the wisdom of what he was undertaking, but their options had been limited by circumstances. He knew Carl could handle himself, and that he was a good shot. But Beth was untested in these situations and he hoped she wouldn't prove to be a liability. He did know that he would rather have her sat beside him, instead of Karen. Because he could handle a lot of things, but dealing with predatory women was not his forte.

"Why couldn't we have brought Daryl with us?" Carl questioned from the backseat.

He wasn't impressed with his father's choice of Beth to accompany them, and shot her a withering look.

"If I'm not at the prison, then Daryl needs to be. If any of the sick folks get worse, well, he's gonna need to take care of things," Rick made his point without being too explicit.

He had spoken with Daryl privately, before setting out, because he knew that his second-in-command also had concerns about his choices for the supply run team. But Rick explained why they had to do things that way, and his lieutenant had reluctantly accepted it. He wasn't sure why he had faith in Beth to come through for him; he only knew that she was the one he'd instinctively wanted there. Her presence calmed him somehow, and he had begun to look forward to the moments they spent in each other's company when she was caring for his daughter. Rick wasn't willing to attach any deeper significance to his feelings, he was just happy to think of her as a friend. If there was more to it than that, then he refused to let himself acknowledge it. He was determined to keep that particular door to his heart shut tight.

"Daddy told me the kinds of things to look out for if we find a pharmacy, and we could do with anything we can use for keeping warm," Beth said.

"Yeah, we need to focus on food, medicine, blankets and warm clothing," he agreed.

They eventually pulled up close to the main street of the town that Rick had previously scouted. It seemed pretty quiet on the surface, and they couldn't see too many walkers around the place.

"You two got everything you need?" He questioned his accomplices; they checked their weaponry and affirmed their readiness.

"We stick close together, okay? No gunfire, unless you can't avoid it, we don't want to draw any more walkers in," Rick said.

They exited the car and made their way along the short distance to Main Street. Beth spotted a drugstore and she alerted her companions to it. They went to check it out and the coast appeared to be clear. There was a food store not too far away, and Rick indicated that he was going to scout it out. He found only one walker behind the counter, which he quickly dispatched.

"You go load up on medicines, Carl and I will take the grocery store," he instructed Beth.

"If you run into any trouble, just holler, and I'll come running," he assured her.

She nodded, although she was still filled with anxiety, but was determined not to let it show.

Rick watched her go with a mix of concern and something else that he couldn't quite identify. He didn't have time to dwell on it anyway, and he ushered Carl off to load up on groceries.

Beth made her way around the shelves of the drugstore and filled up a few hand baskets with medicines. There were also baby supplies and a few toys, which she was determined to take back for Judith. She carried the baskets to the doorway and checked that the way ahead was still clear. It looked calm enough outside, and so she began the task of transporting the merchandise back to the car. There was no sign of Rick or Carl, and so she wondered if she should go and make sure they were alright. She was just about to set off for the grocery store when the sound of an approaching car made her dive for cover.

A beat up black Chevy roared into view, and Beth hid herself as far out of sight as she could. She prayed that it would just keep on going, but her hopes soon faded as she heard the brakes screech, and it came to a halt close by. She edged along, using parked cars for cover, and observed that two men were stepping out onto the sidewalk. The older man had long straggly grey hair, and he was tall, thin and mean looking. The other one was much younger with slicked back black hair, but he was otherwise similar in appearance to the older man. Beth assumed they were related in some way, and she could see that they were both carrying shotguns. She didn't know what to do, but hoped Rick had seen the men arriving from his position in the store. She knew she wouldn't be able to get to him, without alerting the outsiders to her presence.

The two men stalked down Main Street and seemed to be headed for the bar at the opposite end. The young one then abruptly turned around, and started to head back in Beth's direction. She panicked and tried to skitter around the parked cars to stay out of sight, but the old man saw and met her on the other side.

"Well now, Bud, will ya looky at what we got here," he drawled.

"What's a pretty little thing like you doing out here all alone, huh?" He asked as he gave her a long leering look.

Beth didn't reply, and instead tried to look over the man's shoulder for any sign of Rick or Carl. But she didn't want to give them away, because the men were armed and almost certainly, dangerous.

"Cat got your tongue, darlin'?" The younger man, Bud, asked as he stepped closer to her.

"How long's it been, pa, since we last seen a livin' breathin' female?" He asked.

"Too long, son, too long," the old man was almost salivating.

Bud reached out to offer her his hand to help pull her up from the floor, but she declined it. He wasn't to be so easily rebuffed; he grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to her feet.

"Let's go get us some liquor and have us a party, looks like we found our entertainment," the old man cackled.

"Best keep an eye out, son, in case she ain't alone," he instructed and Bud removed her knife and gun.

Both men looked up and down the street until they were satisfied no one else was there. The young man then dragged her along to where their Chevy was parked up, and he pressed her back against the hood.

"I'm gonna have me some fun with you," he drawled in her ear.

Beth was terrified and opened her mouth to scream, but looking over the man's shoulder she caught sight of Rick, signalling to her through the grocery store window.

"Warm her up, son, while I go get us some whiskey," the older man said as he headed into the bar.

Bud opened the door to the back seat and forcefully pushed a protesting Beth down on it. He started to unbutton his pants as he moved to get on top of her. She struggled and writhed as he tried to hold her still. He ripped open her shirt and began to pull at her jeans as he exposed himself in readiness. There was a sound from the bar like a bottle being broken, which caused Bud to pause for a moment.

"Hey, pa, don't waste the booze," he yelled to his father.

Beth managed to pull herself up slightly, while the younger man was distracted, and she saw Rick through the saloon bar window. She surmised that he had killed the older guy, and now intended to rescue her. Bud turned his attention back to her and she stopped struggling for a second to adjust her position. She reached down and took a vice like grip on him where he was vulnerable, until he began yelping. There was a sudden popping sound and the car window cracked as blood spurted over her from a bullet wound on the side of Bud's head. Beth finally let out a scream as Rick rushed over and hauled the man's lifeless body off of her.

"You alright?" He asked with deep concern as he helped her out of the Chevy.

She nodded, but her whole body was shaking with the shock and terror of what had just happened. Carl was the one who fired the shot that killed Bud, and he kept a vigilant eye out down the street for any further threats. Rick noticed that Beth's shirt was torn and her bra was visible. He moved to pull her jacket around her, but she flinched away from him and closed it herself. He wanted to comfort her, but she was already hugging herself in a protective way, and so he decided to let her be.

"Let's go get the car loaded up, and get the hell outta here," he said.

Beth went on autopilot as she helped Rick and Carl to collect up all of the food, medicine and other essentials. They were soon on the road again, and she couldn't wait to get back to the relative safety of the prison.

"Please, don't tell daddy about what happened today," Beth appealed to her two companions.

Hershel was already unhappy about her going out on the supply run, and she didn't want him having to think about what might have been. It was going to haunt her enough as it was, she was sure about that, without her father fussing over her at every turn. Beth had seen how protective he'd been about Maggie, after her brush with the Governor, and she didn't want to be regarded as a victim.

Rick gave her his word.

"If that's what you want," he said as he snuck a glance at her.

He felt a rush of protectiveness towards Beth, and guilt for not being able to prevent her ordeal at the hands of those men. Although, he took some comfort from the fact that he had managed to get the situation under control before things got any worse. His mind began to wander, as they travelled along in silence, and he found himself contemplating what experience Beth had of men. He saw that she was close to Jimmy, when they were back at the farm. But whether things were ever serious between them, he didn't know. A wave of shame washed over him, as he wondered why he was thinking about such matters, and why he should even care.


	3. Chapter 3

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 3

Beth huddled around the pot as she boiled up some water for Judith's evening bottle. She couldn't seem to stop shaking, and attributed it to delayed shock after the events of the day. Carol cradled the baby and shook one of the new rattles to entertain her. Judith reached out her hand to grab at the toy and she gurgled happily.

"Aww, look how she likes that. You did good today, and it was so lucky that you didn't run into any trouble," Carol said with a smile.

Beth desperately wanted to unburden herself about her ordeal, but she was sticking by her decision to keep quiet about it. She began to feel a little light-headed, but reasoned that it was probably due to her not having eaten anything for hours. There hadn't been any new cases of flu during the day, and the sick were being treated with the medicines she had brought back. It was a comfort for her to know that her efforts had not been in vain, despite what it might have cost her. She mixed up the baby's bottle and handed it to her friend, but as she stepped back, her legs suddenly gave way beneath her.

"Beth?" Carol exclaimed with horror as she saw the young blonde slump to the floor.

Rick leaned against the cold metal of the railings and his mind drifted to thinking about a certain someone. The image of Beth with her shirt torn open flashed upon his inner eye, and he was ashamed about it. He considered himself a dirty old man for even conjuring up such a picture in his head. He was twice her age, plus tax, and he couldn't understand why he was thinking of her like that. But no matter how much he tried to deny it, there was something about her that he was drawn too. She reminded him a little of the way Lori used to be when he'd first known her. He wondered if that was the reason why he liked her so much. His experience of women had been limited, to say the least, and Lori had been the one and only for him. But she was gone now and hard as it was for him to accept that, he felt like he finally had.

The killing of Shane still weighed on his mind from time to time. But he doubted his conscience would be troubled much by his elimination of the two scumbags who intended to rape Beth. He did regret that his son had chalked up another kill, but at least he could square this one with what he knew of the circumstances surrounding it.

The sound of someone crying for help inside the cell block broke into his reverie, and he rushed to find out what was wrong. He immediately set eyes upon Carol, who was holding onto Judith, but then he saw Beth sprawled out on the floor.

"She just collapsed, maybe it's the flu?" The older woman said as she hovered over her friend.

"Beth?" Rick tried to get a reaction from her by gently tapping at her face.

He knelt down beside her and supported her head with his arm.

In her confused state, she batted his arms away and fearfully protested at him touching her.

He was stung by her apparent wariness of him, but persisted because he could see she wasn't in her right mind.

"I'm gonna pick you up and take you to your father, okay?" Rick explained as he attempted to scoop her from the floor.

"No, don't hurt me. I don't wanna go. Stop touching me," she rambled and feebly pushed against his chest.

"Beth, it's me, Rick. You know that I would never hurt you, right?" He appealed to her and looked deep into her eyes.

She seemed to finally realise who he was and stopped struggling as he lifted her up from the ground.

"Hershel's in the other cell block," Carol explained as they went off in search of him.

Rick was breathing heavily from the effort as he delivered Beth into the care of her father. He carefully deposited the young blonde onto one of the spare bunks, while Hershel began to check her over. She was slipping in and out of lucidity and seemed to be developing a fever. Her father applied a cold compress to her head and managed to get her to swallow some Tylenol.

"You'd better go now, I'm gonna stay here with my girls," Hershel said.

"Do you need anything?" Rick asked as he looked on helplessly.

"No, you did enough by getting us those medical supplies, today," the older man said gratefully.

"That was your daughter; she's the one you need to thank," the younger man said as he directed the credit to where it was due.

Rick kept his eyes fixed on Beth as she slumbered fitfully on the nearby bunk. He knew that he should leave, but he couldn't make himself walk away. He reached out his hand and tenderly brushed back her sweat drenched hair, as a feeling of guilt niggled at him. She looked so fragile, and he felt he was responsible, at least in part, for her present state of health. He cursed himself for taking her out on the supply run, even though they had brought back everything they needed, and more besides.

"She's been such a great help to me, with Judith, and everything. We'll be lost without her," Rick said as he finally got up to walk away.

"Give her a few days, and she'll be back on her feet. My Bethy is tougher than she looks," Hershel said with as much cheer as he could muster.

"I know she is," The younger man said meaningfully, as he took one last lingering glance at her before departing.

* * *

It had been a week since the flu outbreak, and most of the younger infected members of the group were back on their feet. The old guy, who was patient zero, had developed pneumonia and he was under a watchful vigil for any deterioration in his condition. Beth was slowly recovering, but she was in low spirits. She couldn't stop herself from dwelling on what had happened during the supply run, and every time she closed her eyes, she saw Bud's mean face bearing down on her.

Rick had initially thought it a good thing, for him to have some time away from the young blonde, who seemed to be so frequently in his thoughts. But he found that her absence only made him think of her all the more. He longed to see her, but the quarantine was still in place and he didn't want to risk his daughter's health, or anyone else's. He had plenty to distract him from what he considered to be his inappropriate thoughts, and Karen was still prowling around. But he'd still found himself picking something up on his latest supply run that he intended to be especially for Beth.

Hershel checked on his youngest daughter, and determined that she would benefit from a bit of fresh air. She was reluctant but he enlisted Carol to help her out into the yard. It was a bright sunny day, if a little cold and the air felt crisp in her lungs. Beth squinted at the sunlight, after so many days spent in bed, and her weak body soon needed to sit down for a rest. Rick had spied her from his position in the guard tower, and he got Tyreese to cover his post so he could go to her. He took a quick detour on his way over, to pick up the gift he had selected for her.

"Hey," he said breezily as he walked over to Beth.

She looked slightly startled by his sudden appearance, and could only manage a weak smile in return.

Rick was unperturbed, and he produced a pretty pink embroidered sweater from behind his back.

"I got this for you, to help keep out the cold," he was suddenly bashful over his gesture.

Beth tentatively accepted the gift, and she took a closer look at it. The size was exactly right, and the wool was so soft, she brushed it against her cheek.

"Thank you, it's beautiful," she said as a single tear zigzagged down her face.

Rick wasn't sure what to do with himself; he felt awkward and self-conscious all at once and began to fiddle with his rifle strap. She liked the sweater and yet she looked sad, and he was confused about more than just her reaction.

"I guess I'd better get back," he gestured over to the guard tower.

Beth nodded, but she was too melancholy to summon up anything else, other than to ask Carol if she would help her get back to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 4

Beth lay on her bunk clutching the pink sweater that Rick had given her, and she began to sob. She wasn't exactly sure why she was crying, but felt the wretched week of illness after what had happened on the supply run, was reason enough. It was the small act of kindness that had started her tears flowing, and because it came from someone she greatly admired, its value was heightened. She removed her tattered jacket and pulled the sweater over her head. It fitted perfectly, and the soft wool was very comforting against her skin. She wasn't sure why Rick had felt moved to get it especially for her, but she was grateful all the same. Beth presumed his gesture might have been prompted by the guilt he felt over the ordeal she'd suffered. But she didn't blame him for it; she knew he and Carl had saved her from an even worse fate. The world they now inhabited often seemed to be a cruel place, but she appreciated how lucky they were to have someone like Rick on their side. Her encounter with the worst kind of men, had only served to make her even more thankful for the good ones.

Rick leaned against the cold metal rail and stared out from the top of the guard tower. He paused to wonder about his recent actions, and why he'd felt compelled to single Beth out for special treatment. He did feel responsible for the trauma she'd suffered, because it was his decision to take her out on that run. But if he was honest, he knew there was more to it than that. There were many reasons why he didn't want to accept his developing feelings for Beth, not least of which was the sizeable age difference between them. However, they were living in a world where such things mattered a hell of a lot less than they used to. Rick had expected that despite their difficulties, he and Lori would grow old together. He now had to accept a new reality; every day he was still breathing was a bonus, and soon his time was bound to run out. If he could grab a few moments of happiness with Beth before that happened, shouldn't he take the chance? He stood and contemplated his options.

* * *

The spectre of ill health was finally lifting from the group, as the sick were gradually restored to full fitness. They lost the old man to pneumonia, but everyone else pulled through, and that had to be viewed as a win in the grand scheme of things. Beth was back in her old cell with Carol, and everyone was getting back to normalcy, or what passed for it in the times they now lived in. There had been simmering tensions between factions within the prison, but the recent bout of illness seemed to have quelled the discontent, for the time being at least.

Rick tried to keep himself away from temptation, but he liked the good feeling he got from being around Beth too much. He saw that she was sat alone on her bunk, and he went over to talk to her.

"Hey, you doing okay?" He asked.

She was wearing the pink sweater he'd got her, and the colour really suited her, just as he knew it would.

"I'm fine; it's good to be back in here. I missed everyone, especially Judy, and she seems to have grown even bigger since I last saw her," she replied.

"Yeah, she's gonna burst right outta her sleep suits. We're gonna need to go find her some bigger clothes," he furrowed his brow at the prospect, but he had been cooking up a plan.

"We found signs for a shopping mall out west, and a few of us are gonna check it out in the morning. There's bound to be a baby store, and you could pick out some stuff for Judith, what d'you say?"

Rick wanted her to go with him for many reasons, but mostly because he thought that she needed to get back in the saddle again. Beth was capable of far more than she gave herself credit for, and he didn't want to see her potential go to waste because of one setback.

"I, I don't know," she stuttered.

The offer came as a complete surprise to her, and she really wasn't sure that she was up to it. Her confidence had been badly knocked, and she hadn't considered herself to be all that capable before her bad experience. Beth was happy to accept her limitations, and to acknowledge that some people just weren't cut out for fighting. But sitting on the side-lines wasn't an option anymore; everyone had to be willing to do all they could. It was her choice now, but it wouldn't be that way forever, and she knew she ought to face down her fears.

"Okay, I'll come with you," she tried to sound assured.

Rick broke into a wide smile.

"Good," he said.

"I'll let you get your rest; it's gonna be a long day tomorrow."

He was glad she was up for the challenge, and determined that this time; he wouldn't let her out of his sight for so much as one second.

Karen observed the two of them from afar, she'd suspected a partiality on Beth's side, but now she was beginning to think that the feeling was mutual. She had been flirting outrageously with Rick for a couple of weeks and all to no avail, and now she knew the reason why. Karen wasn't sure what she could do about it, but she was certain that some opportunity to undermine her rival would present itself. She was many things, but a quitter wasn't one of them, and she wasn't about to give up on something she wanted so much.

* * *

Hershel looked on with concern, as both of his daughters left the prison with Rick and Glenn. He hadn't wanted to stand in their way, but they were all the family he had left now, and he couldn't imagine what he'd do if anything should ever happen to them. Beth and Maggie were conscious of how their father was feeling, and it weighed heavily on their minds. They were sat together in the back of the car, as Rick drove them all to their destination. They had been in almost complete silence since they'd left the prison gates, and the atmosphere was starting to feel a little strained.

"You two are quiet back there, is everything okay?" Glenn asked.

"Fine," Maggie said curtly, which suggested the opposite was true.

She was mostly unhappy about Beth accompanying them, but Rick had been so insistent that he'd refused to hear her concerns. Her objections were mainly to do with both of them being away from their father at the same time. But she was also worried about her younger sister's lack of combat experience, and they didn't know what they were going to find at the mall. Maggie didn't want to be disloyal to Beth, and not have any faith in her, but this was life or death. She was also begrudging of the fact that they were out risking their lives again, when most of the former-Woodbrians seemed ungrateful for their efforts. The strain of the responsibility for the survival of so many was weighing on all of them, and some people were looking for a scapegoat.

Rick was trying to find a way to cut through the tension, and he was thinking that in the old days, he would have put the radio on as a distraction. That wasn't an option now and there were no CDs to play. He did come up with a possible solution to the problem, but it was dependent on a certain someone obliging him.

"Y'know, I try not to dwell on things we've lost since all this went down, but I do miss listening to music sometimes," he said dropping the hint as heavy as he could.

Glenn nodded in agreement, but the two sisters remained silent and pensive. Rick tried to signal to his friend that he should continue to back him up, but he wasn't taking the bait.

"It'd be great to hear a song right about now," he said in a completely unsubtle way.

Beth had been lost in her own thoughts and anxieties since they'd left the prison, but she couldn't mistake Rick's meaning. She wanted to oblige him, but wasn't sure that she was up to it. She doubted she could summon up the lyrics to any songs at that moment, and her mind was drawing a complete blank. But then to her surprise, she opened her mouth and began to sing.

_It's a long and dusty road_

_It's a hot and heavy load_

_And the folks that I meet ain't always kind_

_Some are bad, some are good_

_Some have done the best they could_

_Some have tried to ease my troubled mind_

_And I can't help but wonder where I bound_

_Where I'm bound_

_And I can't help but wonder where I'm bound…_

_[Can't Help But Wonder Where I'm Bound by Tom Paxton]_

Once she had finished the song, Beth returned to her previous introspection. Rick was so touched by what she'd just sung that he almost regretted cajoling her into it in the first place. But he loved hearing her voice, even if it had done nothing to lighten the mood in the car.

They began to see an increase in the numbers of walkers shambling around, as they followed the signs for the shopping mall. It was an ominous portent of what might be awaiting them. They had never been this far west before, and they were in uncharted territory in far as supply runs were concerned. It was a gamble, and the mall could turn out to be overrun. There were plenty of abandoned vehicles to manoeuvre around as they moved towards their target. But the concentration of walkers didn't appear to be unmanageable, and the closer they could get, the better it would be for them to gain access to the place. Rick spied a delivery entrance point and hoped that it would be clear. He drove them around to the unloading bay, and to their relief, the place looked to be empty of any immediate threats.

"We'll enter through here, and try to get a better look at what we're up against. The place could be teeming with walkers, so we gotta be extra careful, eyes open and we stick together," Rick instructed them.

They all checked to make sure they had their weapons and a flashlight, before they proceeded to the delivery entrance. Beth spotted a fire escape ladder that scaled the height of the building, which they hoped could provide an ideal vantage point. Glenn volunteered to climb up and take a look through the glass roof of the mall. Maggie looked on anxiously after him, as Beth and Rick kept an eye out for any approaching threats. After a short while, the younger man reappeared and began his descent back down the ladder.

"It doesn't look too bad in there, I couldn't see any large groups of walkers, but there's enough to pose a threat if they start to swarm together. I couldn't see down to the lower levels though, so we'd be going in blind there," Glenn explained.

Rick began to wonder if it was worth the risk; a large percentage of the stores inside the mall were full of useless stuff. High end consumer products that people had craved before the world went to shit, like jewellery and technology, were worthless to them now. But they'd travelled a long way to get there, and the group were in need of other things besides food. The small party cautiously made their way inside, on the understanding that if things got hairy, then they would retreat back to the car.

Beth spotted a Gymboree a short distance ahead of them, and they moved to check it out. There were only a few walkers to dispatch along the way, and the inside of the store appeared to be clear.

"Beth and I will grab what we can here; you two see what else you can find, but stay close, okay?" Rick directed Glenn and Maggie.

The young blonde had already started to excitedly peruse the aisles, and she looked for some hand baskets to load up.

"Look how gorgeous this is, Judith will look so precious in it," she said as she held up a matching dress set.

Rick couldn't help but smile, and he followed her around as they filled up bags with clothes and other essentials. They had a few young children back at the prison who were fast growing out of their stuff.

"Thanks for coming out here with me today; I know you didn't want too," he said.

Beth almost forgot her fears as she got so caught up in picking out cute outfits for Judith and the other kids. This second experience had been very different from her first supply run. She knew things could still take a turn for the worse, but in that moment, she was glad to be there. Her exuberance got the better of her, and she leant over and gave Rick a quick kiss on the cheek.

He looked stunned as she casually went back to loading up the bags, but then he suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her back over to him. Her eyes were wide with shock, as he captured her in his strong arms and brought his lips crashing down onto hers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it. Please keep the reviews coming; if you have the time, it helps to know what readers like. Thanks again. - Mrs P.**

* * *

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 5

Beth felt a rising sensation of panic as Rick continued to passionately kiss her. It wasn't how she wanted to be feeling in that moment, and it wasn't because she didn't want him, but it was overwhelming for her. She had hardly any experience of the opposite sex, and none with mature guys who knew their way around a woman's body. She moved to try and get him to back off, by putting her hands against his chest and gently pushing. The sound of dragging feet nearby saved her from any further action, as Rick broke away from her and drove his knife into the head of a stray walker. He seemed to have construed her resistance as an attempt to alert him to approaching danger, and he moved to kiss her again. Beth used the interruption to put some space between them, and she tried to evade him without making him feel rejected.

"Maybe we should see how Glenn and Maggie are doing?" She suggested and busied herself by gathering together some of the bags they'd filled.

Rick eyed her with confusion and began to wonder whether he'd misread her interest in him.

"Did you not want me to kiss you?" He questioned.

"Only, I thought, since you put the moves on me first, that you kinda did," he had a defensive tone to his voice.

"Are we gonna do this now?" She said gesturing around to highlight their situation.

He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Beth sighed.

"It's not that I didn't want to kiss you, or that I wouldn't want to again, but I... I'm a little...inexperienced, okay? And after what happened the other week, it was all just a bit too much," she explained.

Her cheeks flamed red with embarrassment and she couldn't bear to meet his eyes. She presumed that he must consider her to be a naive fool, for trying to look like she fitted in at the grown-ups table. But he closed the gap between them and cupped her chin in his hand.

"That's alright," he said.

"We can take things slow."

He looked like he wanted to kiss her again, but was holding back. Beth put the bags back on the floor and put her hands around his shoulders. She slowly closed in until their lips were just brushing together, and then they gradually deepened the kiss. This time she felt a building sense of excitement and desire, as they gently used their tongues to explore each other's mouths.

The sound of fast approaching footsteps made them come back to their senses, and they went back to gathering up their stuff. Glenn came scampering into view and he was closely followed by Maggie. They were both loaded up to the gills with packages and it was a comical sight, despite their circumstances.

"Some of the walkers are on the move, so we'd better watch our backs," Glenn said.

They utilised a nearby shopping cart, to aid in the transportation of everything they'd salvaged. They knew the noise would attract attention, but it was the quickest way of moving large volumes of goods. They managed three round trips, before the threat level posed by the undead congregating in larger numbers, was too much for them. Rick narrowly avoided getting bit, as two lurkers came at him from a blind spot in the delivery bay. They decided to quit while they were ahead, and set off back to the prison.

The mood in the car was much brighter on the journey back, and Beth entertained them with another song. This time around, she was inspired by the man sitting next to her in the driver's seat. Her unsubtle display did not go unnoticed by at least one of the occupants on the back seat.

_Cowboy, take me away_

_Fly this girl as high as you can_

_Into the wild blue_

_Set me free Oh, I pray_

_Closer to heaven above_

_And closer to you_

_Closer to you…_

_[Cowboy Take Me Away by The Dixie Chicks, written by Martie Seidel and Marcus Hummon]_

* * *

Maggie waited until later in the evening to find a quiet moment to corner her sister. She had been quietly observing Beth and Rick since they'd been in the car, to look for further confirmation of her suspicions. She saw all the secret smiles that passed between them, and she noticed how their hands lingered a little too long whenever they had cause to touch. A creeping feeling of dread and dismay had descended over Maggie as she looked for an opportunity to talk to her sister in private.

"Beth, I'm going on watch but will you come outside with me? I need to talk to you," she requested.

Her sister was tending to a tear in one of Rick's shirts, but she set it aside on her bunk and pulled on her sweater. She followed her elder sister out into the prison yard, as she led her to a quiet spot.

"Is everything alright?" Beth questioned.

"You tell me. What the hell's going on with you and Rick?" Maggie asked.

"I, I don't know what you mean," the young blonde stammered because she knew her sister was on to them, and she had never been a good liar.

"What I mean is, you've been fluttering your eyelashes at him so hard, you're in danger of starting a tornado. The worse thing is, he doesn't seem to mind, in fact it looked to me like he was enjoying it. Now, I know he lost his mind when Lori died, but it looks like he's dragged you right on into crazy town with him," the brunette raged.

"Where do you get off talking about Rick that way?" Beth was furious.

"You having a crush on him is one thing, but that he would take advantage of it is, well it's just messed up," Maggie said.

She grasped her younger sister by the arms and gave her a pleading look.

"Just tell me you ain't stupid enough to be having sex with him?"

Beth shook herself free and threw her sister a defiant glare.

"Who are you to stand in judgement? Rick's given everything to keep this group safe, he's put his life on the line time after time, and I just don't get why you're being so disrespectful of all that. He would never take advantage of me, and it's none of your business if we're sleeping together," she said angrily.

"Have you even thought about what all this is gonna do to daddy?" Her elder sibling asked.

"I know everything that Rick's done for us, and I ain't ungrateful. But he's also kept important stuff from us in the past, and landed us with a group of people who don't even wanna be here. We got more mouths to feed, and we're out there every day risking our necks for no thanks. All they do is complain, and I'm not the only one who's getting sick of it," Maggie argued.

Beth was shocked; she had heard some of the discontentment from the former-Woodbrians, but not from their original group members. It was incomprehensible to her that any of them would think of turning against Rick, after everything he'd done for them.

"What would you have had him do, huh? Leave those people back in Woodbury to be slaughtered by the Governor? You were the one who stood up to daddy, back on the farm, when he wanted to send Rick and his group packing. What daddy decided to do, and what Rick did, it was the right call, it was the Christian thing to do," she countered.

Maggie gave her sister a sad look.

"Things were different back on the farm, and I was different. I see now that daddy had a point, he was just trying to protect those he loved, and he knew by letting others in, it would endanger that. He changed his mind, and the whole thing went to shit. Rick went and did the same thing when he decided to bring all those folks back here. He told us that we were a democracy, but he didn't give us the chance to debate or vote on it. It's not even a matter of what's right or wrong anymore; it's about the harsh realities of surviving in this world. We have to keep taking bigger risks, and going further out to get supplies, something's gotta give, that's all I'm saying."

"Well then, we should all get together and talk it through, Rick would want to know how y'all feel," Beth contended.

"You can tell him if you want, but me, Glenn and Daryl have already tried talking to him and he just don't wanna listen. I don't know what the two of you have got going on, but I do know that there's a storm brewing, and Rick is gonna be right at the centre of it when it breaks," Maggie warned.

"What would you do, huh? Send all the old folks and kids onto the road to get ripped apart, just so we don't have to keep putting ourselves out for them?" The young blonde was outraged by her sister's apparent loss of compassion.

"You think you got this world all figured out now, don't ya? Because you're with a man twice your age, but you don't know nothing. The Governor's still out there somewhere, and we don't have a clue what he's planning on doing. We got half the folks here wishing they were back in Woodbury, and the other half of us busting our asses to make sure we don't all starve to death. Rick might think he's building a community, but instead he's constructed a ticking time bomb, and one of these days it's just gonna blow right up in his face," Maggie stated with certainty.

Beth walked away feeling deflated and fearful of what the future might hold for all of them, but especially for the man, she now realised she loved.


	6. Chapter 6

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 6

Rick searched around the cell block for Beth with increasing anxiety, because he couldn't find her anywhere. He found his torn shirt abandoned on her bunk, but no one seemed to know where she'd gone to. Karen offered to help him look, but he suspected she had ulterior motives, and so gently rebuffed her. He took his search out into the prison yard and was relieved to see Beth walking towards him. She didn't appear to see him at first, and looked to be deep in thought about something. He stepped closer to her and she reacted with shock at the realisation he was there.

"I've found you at last, what're you doing out here in the dark?" He asked.

"I was talking to Maggie," she said without going into any details.

He took a quick look around to make sure no one was watching them, and then grabbed her by the hand and led her towards the empty cell block. Beth started to get nervous about his intentions, despite his promise to her that they could take things slow. The look in his eyes was that of a hungry lion, who had just set its eyes on a big hunk of fresh meat.

"Rick?" She tugged at his hand to get him to come to a halt.

"I just wanna be alone with you for a little while, I'm not expecting anything to happen between us," he sought to reassure her as he noted the panic in her eyes.

She nodded and trusted him to keep his word.

They made their way into what had so recently been a sick bay, and went to sit on one of the bunks. Rick kept a respectful distance, but Beth thought that she had never seen anyone so in need of a hug, and she moved to put her arms around him.

"You know, ever since I first met you, it seems like you've always had some lonesome burden to carry. The weight of this world just keeps on trying to drag you down, but somehow you always manage to bear it, and you're still standing tall," she held him tightly and then began to pet his hair.

Rick was glad to receive her comfort, it felt like a lifetime since Lori held onto him in this way, and he hadn't realised how much he needed it. The daily grind of trying to lead a disparate, and at times turbulent group, was taking its toll. He had other suppressed urges he longed to have tended to, but in that moment, he was satisfied just to be in her loving embrace. They stayed locked together in that way for what felt like a long while, until Beth eased back a little. She thought about everything Maggie had just said to her, and it broke her heart, to think of the man in her arms getting beat down again for only trying to do the right thing. Her fears about the growing intimacy between them started to evaporate, and she wanted to offer him more. She thought, if anyone deserved to be loved unconditionally, it was Rick, and she could be the one to give him that.

Beth moved in to kiss him and she let her hands glide sensually over his chest.

"Maybe we don't have to take it slow," she whispered in his ear.

Rick gave her a look of incredulity, which turned to something like tearful gratitude for the trust she was placing in him, as she nodded her assurance. It had been a long time since he'd last done this, and an even longer time since he'd fooled around with anyone but Lori. They were each other's first love, and he never thought he would ever be intimate with anyone else. He hesitated and wondered if it wouldn't be best to wait a while. But he wasn't sure what he'd be waiting for, and Beth might think better of it if he didn't seize the offered opportunity now.

She put her hands gently against his cheeks and pulled him in for a long lingering kiss. Rick soon found that he didn't have the resolve to hold out any longer. He eased her back against the bunk and tenderly made love to her. He was as gentle as he could be, for a man with a year's worth of pent up sexual frustration.

Beth felt her nerves resurfacing as his excitement started to build, and she had a brief vision of Bud's mean face bearing down on her. But she closed her eyes and when she opened them again, all she saw was a man who wanted so much to love her. She knew she could trust Rick with anything, and losing her virginity to him was one way for her to let him know how highly he was valued. He didn't disappoint her, and he tried so hard to make it as pleasurable for her as it was for him.

They lay in each other's arms afterwards, and Beth started to giggle as she contemplated the fact that she was no longer a virgin.

"I never knew that it would feel so... I can't even think of a word for what it felt like. I wouldn't mind feeling it again though," she laughed.

"You're insatiable. You're gonna wear this old guy out," Rick teased her.

He decided he wasn't going to let himself feel guilty, at least not right away. He was sure it would all catch up to him soon enough, like when he saw his children and thought of Lori. When he next talked to Hershel, in the knowledge that he'd just deflowered his youngest daughter, he would definitely feel bad. But as he lay there, with Beth tracing lazy patterns on his chest with her fingers, he allowed himself to be contented.

* * *

A lone figure stalked through the woods outside the prison, as he had done for a couple of days now, and he paused to scan the area with his night vision goggles. He thanked his lucky stars for the low numbers of biters as he carefully made his way around the perimeter making sure to stay out of sight. He could see Tyreese and Daryl on watch, but he identified a couple of vulnerable spots in their defences. Time was running out for him to make his move and he knew it would have to be soon. It would be a riskier proposition by daylight, but he decided to wait it out and see what opportunities the morning would bring.

* * *

Hershel sat on Beth's bunk, and awaited her return. Karen was the one who informed him that Rick had been looking for his youngest daughter. She returned to him soon after and kindly pointed out that neither of them had been seen for well over an hour. He was no fool, and having once been a widower himself, it wasn't as if he couldn't empathise with Rick's plight, but Beth was his baby. Hershel caught sight of her as she slunk back into the cell block. Her faced blushed as red as beet when she saw him waiting for her.

"Daddy, is there something you need me to help with?" She asked in the hopes of diverting attention from her prolonged absence.

"Where've you been, Bethy?" He questioned as he saw straight through her tactics.

"I was outside talking to Maggie, and then I ran into Rick, I guess time just got away from us," Beth tried to sound casual about it all whilst avoiding her father's scrutinising stare.

"The two of you seem to be spending a lot of time in each other's company lately," he said with suspicion.

She shrugged noncommittally, and picked up the torn shirt to finish the mending she'd started earlier that evening.

Hershel had been contemplating the matter, and although he was far from happy about it, he could see the advantages as far as his daughter's on-going chances of survival were concerned. Rick was a strong leader, even at his lowest points, and he was fierce in protecting those he loved. He had made mistakes, but he an honourable man and the farmer knew he had to be pragmatic about these things. If anything should happen to him, which given his age and disability, was a distinct possibility, then he would rest easier knowing that Beth had a protector. Hershel knew Maggie and Glenn would look out for her, but it wasn't the same, and they'd have each other to worry about. His youngest daughter was already caring for Judith as a mother would, and he knew that Carl might be trickier to get onside, but if he did, then she would have two strong people fighting to help keep her safe. Beth was young enough that she could one day bear Rick more children, if they ever found someplace with lasting security. The age difference between them was sizeable, but the chances of her ever having to nurse him through old age, were slim.

"Are you in love with Rick?" He asked her, seemingly out of the blue.

"Daddy, why would you think that? Has Maggie said something?" Beth questioned angrily thinking her sister had betrayed her.

"No, she hasn't said anything, should she have?" Hershel asked with concern.

His youngest daughter shook her head and then started to look flushed again, as she fidgeted with the stitching on Rick's shirt.

Beth had never been so uncomfortable both literally and figuratively; she was sat next to her father with a dull intimate ache to remind her of what she'd just done. She felt like Rick's invisible branding must have been detectable in some way, for her to be under such suspicion.

"Bethy, you can talk to me, I know I'm old, but I haven't forgotten what it feels like to fall in love. Your momma brought a smile back to my lips and put joy in my heart, at a time when I was beginning to despair of ever finding either again. When I lost my Jo, I damn near jumped in that grave after her, and if it hadn't been for Maggie needing me, I probably would have. But then Annette came into my life, and suddenly I found I was actually looking forward to each new day, and not just existing through them. If you've done the same for Rick, then it would be pretty mean-spirited of me not to be glad for him. You're my baby girl, and I would never have wished for you to grow up so fast, but we are where we are," Hershel said earnestly.

"So, you're not mad?" Beth questioned with disbelief.

"If you love him, and he loves you, then no, I'm not mad about that," he assured her.

She had tears in her eyes as she clasped her father's hands in hers.

"I love you, daddy, and I love Rick. He hasn't said he loves me too, not yet, but I just know that he does, and he'll say it when he's ready," Beth said with certainty.

Hershel nodded, and decided that he would have a quiet word with the former-Sheriff's Deputy, just to be sure.


	7. Chapter 7

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 7

Rick caught sight of his son, sat all alone out in the prison yard, and he went to join him. Things between them were in bad shape even before he'd invited the people from Woodbury to stay with them. Carl begrudgingly agreed to help out after his father had promised him more responsibilities, and to take him on frequent supply runs. But it was uneasy truce that threatened to fracture completely at any given moment. Rick decided he wouldn't be telling his son about his developing relationship with Beth any time soon.

"Hey, I talked to Daryl about you coming with us tomorrow, and he said it was my call."

Rick was planning on taking a select group to hit a superstore they had recently discovered. The area was in the path of two large walker herds, which was why they hadn't raided it before. But food supplies were running low again, and they were going to have to take the risk.

"I think you should sit this one out, it could get rough," he said with a wary glance towards his scowling son.

Carl sighed and looked up to meet his father's eye with an accusatory glare.

"This is all your fault, you brought those people here, and now you're gonna get us killed," he said angrily.

Rick tried to speak but he was cut off.

"We barely had enough food when it was just our group, and now we have a bunch of old folks and kids to feed. What're we gonna do when we've emptied out all the places around here?" Carl raised some valid points that his father had no real answers too.

When the boy got no reply he stood up and walked away, leaving Rick with yet another impossible dilemma to try and resolve. He rubbed at his temple and then went to resume his watch duty.

He climbed to the top of the guard tower and looked out to the woodland beyond the perimeter fence. There appeared to be a strange movement in a cluster of trees directly ahead of him, and he raised his rifle sight to get a closer look. Rick studied the area carefully but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. He reasoned it was probably just the wind blowing through the branches, and he went back to his tortured thoughts.

* * *

Karen watched Beth fussing over Judith and she was sure, after the previous evening, that there was definitely something going on between the young blonde and Rick. Her attempt at meddling, by trying to plant suspicions in Hershel's mind didn't seem to have paid off, and she was feeling frustrated. She went out into the prison yard to get a breath of fresh air, and as she walked close by the wall that bordered cell block E, she could have sworn that someone was whispering her name.

"Who's there?" She asked as she moved a little closer to the locked gates.

"Karen, it's Caesar Martinez, it ain't safe for me to be out here, but I need to talk to you," he whispered as loud as he dared.

She noticed a small gap between the gate and the wall and peered through it to make sure he was alone. He moved over to the same spot on the opposite side, so they could look each other in the eye.

"Why should I listen to you? Didn't you go off with the Governor after he slaughtered our friends?" She whispered back.

"He didn't leave me with much choice, and being out there amongst the biters with a psycho on your side, is still safer than being out there on your own. Ya just gotta make sure he keeps his gun pointed in the right direction. Anyway, I ain't got time for all this small talk now, I'm trying to save us all from even more bloodshed, but I need your help," he explained.

"Why would I help you? I should be calling for Rick and the others to come get you," Karen threatened.

"And yet you're not," Martinez goaded her.

"They saved me when y'all left me for dead, I owe them," she argued.

"Call them if ya gotta, but that ain't gonna stop the Governor from attacking this place again," he warned.

She didn't respond but he took the chance that she was still listening.

"The Governor still wants Michonne, he's obsessed with the idea of making her suffer, like he has. He's crazier than ever, and there's no telling what he'd do if he stopped listening to me and Shumpert. He sent me out here to take a hostage, someone he can use to trade for her. I've been watching and waiting for an opportunity, but time is tight, and I gotta grab someone soon. This was partly my idea, to try and stop him from coming here again with all guns blazing," he explained.

"Why don't ya'll just grab Michonne when she leaves the prison? Why do you need to take someone else?" Karen questioned.

"She's one tough bitch, and she's always surrounded by the best fighters. If I take a weaker hostage, but someone that Rick really cares about, then we've got a better chance of my plan succeeding. I was thinking about his kids, or the boy to be exact, not the baby," Martinez said.

"I'm still missing the reason why I should help you, and I ain't gonna let you take any of the kids from here," she was unconvinced.

"Ya know me, Karen, and ya trusted me once, we even slept together for Christ's sakes. I could help Rick take the Governor down, but I can only draw him out if he believes our plan is working. Are ya gonna help me or not?" He questioned with growing desperation.

Karen thought about his proposition, an inwardly acknowledged that she had once believed he could be trusted. An idea suddenly occurred to her, and she began to realise this might be the solution she'd been seeking to remove a particular thorn in her side.

"I ain't gonna help you take Rick's kids, but how would you like the little blonde that's been helping him keep out the winter chill?" She asked.

"Is he really gonna care that much about some piece a pussy he's been banging?" Martinez was sceptical.

"Oh, he'll care about this one, trust me," she said with confidence.

"Y'know little Blondie might get caught up in the crossfire, you okay with that?" He asked although he knew she almost certainly would be.

"Well that would be a doggone shame. So, do we have a deal?" She questioned.

"Deal," he replied.

"Come back tomorrow, Rick's taking a group out on a supply run, so it should be easier to slip past whoever's left on watch," Karen instructed him.

Martinez walked away with a smile on his face, as it looked like this plan might actually work.

* * *

Beth handed Judith over to Carol so she could go and talk to Rick. She wanted to discuss the things that Maggie had said, with him. The moment passed her by the previous evening, as it didn't feel right to raise such unpleasantness after they had made love for the first time. But she was worried about the mounting discontent within the prison walls, and what it could mean for all of them.

Karen waved over at Beth as she made her way towards to the guard tower, and the young woman desperately hoped that she wouldn't decide to tag along. She needn't have worried though, because the older woman had no intention of playing gooseberry. Karen smiled sweetly and muttered a warning under her breath, that little Blondie better enjoy herself, while she still could.

"Hey," Rick greeted Beth as she joined him on the viewing platform.

He wanted to kiss her, and so he pulled her out of sight from any prying eyes before pressing his lips to hers. The stresses that dominated all the other areas of his life made him want to lose himself in her tender embrace. His hands began to roam over her body and he pressed her back against the guard's desk.

"Not now," Beth weakly protested because it wasn't what she'd gone there for.

Rick appeared not to hear her and continued to make her aware of his mounting excitement. She was so inexperienced in the ways of handling men in the grip of desire, she didn't know how best to bring a halt to things. It wasn't that she wanted to stop him, but they did have matters that needed to be discussed.

"I came here to talk to you," she said in the firmest tone she could muster.

"We can talk after," he was insistent and began to undo the zipper on his pants.

Beth could see the need written on his face and she couldn't bring herself to protest again. She was still a little sore from their first time, but that was soon forgotten as he began to work on her.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear between moans of pleasure.

Rick stilled for a second and pulled back slightly, so that he could look in her eyes. He seemed to be a little bewildered and she began to wonder if she'd done something wrong. It was her declaration of love that had thrown him, and he didn't know how to respond. He felt he owed it to her to say it back, but he couldn't make the words come out. He had never been good at saying that little phrase, and decided that he would just have to show her what she meant to him instead.

It took them a short while to get their breath back afterwards, and Rick began to feel guilty about deserting his watch. He fastened his pants and went back out onto the observation deck. Beth adjusted her clothing and went to join him.

"Have you spoken to daddy today? I didn't get the chance to tell you before, but he knows," she said.

"What?" Rick asked with a hint of annoyance.

"He was waiting for me when I got back to my cell last night, and he just knew somehow. He's fine with it, so you don't have to worry," Beth sought to reassure him.

He gave her a sceptical look.

"I'm sure Hershel was overjoyed," he said with sarcasm.

"It ain't daddy you need to concern yourself with. I spoke to Maggie, and she told me that she, Glenn and Daryl had tried to talk to you about the tensions within the group, but that you wouldn't listen."

Beth could see that he was closing himself off from her, as she had seen him be like this with Lori. She suddenly felt out of her depth and didn't know whether it would just be best for her to let him be for a while.

Rick began to feel wretched; he had been happy enough to take solace in her, but he didn't want to talk. It wasn't that he couldn't understand the frustrations of his closest friends, and even his own son, but he didn't have any solutions for them. He had taken the decision to bring the Woodbury people to the prison, and it was all on him. He wanted to honour Andrea's intentions, by trying to ensure no one else would lose their life. But in that moment, all he could hear in his head was Shane's voice, mocking him for trying to be the hero again.

"Rick?" Beth was standing right beside him even though it seemed like he'd forgotten about her presence.

He sighed.

"This world is so upside down, that even when I try and do right, somehow it still ends up being wrong. How the hell do I fix it all?" He asked with desperation.

Beth didn't have any answers either, and all she could do was offer comfort by tenderly stroking his back.

"I'll pray for God to help us find a way through this," she promised.


	8. Chapter 8

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 8

Hershel had been trying to find an opportunity to speak to Rick for more than a day, and if he didn't know better, he would have thought the younger man was trying to avoid him. The supply run team were loading up the truck, ready to go and hit the superstore, and Daryl was double checking the area on the map with some of the others.

"Rick, do you have a minute before you go? Hershel asked as he finally managed to corner him.

"Sure," the former sheriff's deputy said.

He tried to cover his reluctance, and followed the old guy to a quiet spot in the yard.

"I know you're an honourable man, and I'm not going to ask you for the impossible, but all I need to know is that you'll take good care of my daughter. My girls are the most precious things in the world to me, and I know Glenn will be there for Maggie until his dying breath. Can I trust you to be there for my Beth?" He asked.

Rick wanted to reassure Hershel, in the same way he had wanted to tell his daughter that he loved her. But when it came down to it, he found he just couldn't get the words out. He didn't want to make any more promises he couldn't keep. The old man needed an answer though, and as they locked eyes, Rick managed to speak.

"I'm a widower, which means I already failed once, so what makes you think I won't fail again?" He asked.

Hershel sighed, because he knew there could be no absolute guarantees, when it came to trying to secure his daughters' safety. But even if it proved to be an empty gesture in the end, he still needed to hear the words being said.

"I'd give anything to keep Beth, Carl and Judith safe, you know I would. But after Lori, I can't make that kind of promise, you understand, don't you?" Rick hoped his friend would be able to appreciate what he was saying.

The older man put his hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"I know you'll do your best, and that's all I could ever ask of you," he said earnestly.

The rest of the supply run group were ready to go, and they waited whilst Rick went to say goodbye to his loved ones. He couldn't find Carl, but he was able to give Beth and Judith a kiss before he left.

Karen watched the truck leave the prison, and then she waited for some kind of signal from Martinez. She volunteered to take watch alongside Maggie and Glenn, so that she could look out for him. She knew it wouldn't be easy to deliver Beth to him, but she had a few tricks up her sleeve.

* * *

The morning wore on, and Karen began to think that Martinez must have changed his mind, or had run into some other trouble. But then she saw a small stone rolling along the ground towards her, and she edged over to the gate. She looked up to the guard tower to check whether Glenn and Maggie had noticed anything, but they were nowhere to be seen. Karen couldn't help chuckling to herself, as she realised that Rick wasn't the only one using it for more than watch duty. She whispered to Martinez and he replied.

"Where's the blonde?" He asked.

"You're gonna have to get into the cell block through the tombs. I'll make sure the door is unlocked at the other end and I'll try and get Beth into position, but you're on your own after that. The wall is down back there, but they clear the biters out all the time, so hopefully you won't run into too many," she explained.

"How do I know I can trust ya?" He asked.

"I guess you don't, but there ain't nobody here making you a better offer, is there?" She sneered.

Martinez took her directions and hoped that she wasn't playing him.

Karen beckoned her son, Noah, over to her, and she instructed him to go and unlock the door that led to the tombs. She cautioned him to make sure that no one saw what he was up to, and promised him she would explain everything later. He was then instructed to bring the keys straight back to her, and then go and fetch Carol, so that she could implement the next stage of her plan.

Once Noah had returned for the second time, and brought the older woman with him, Karen made the excuse of needing to take a comfort break. She asked Carol if she would take over watch duty from her, while she tended to the call of nature, which the other woman was only too happy to do. Karen handed over her keys and rifle and made her way back into the cell block. She then primed her son to feign an asthma attack on her signal, to distract Hershel and the others. She went to place Noah's inhaler on the table nearest the entrance to the tombs, and she nodded to a waiting Martinez.

The timing couldn't have been better for Karen, as Beth was getting ready to go and make up a bottle for Judith. It saved the older woman the task of trying to coax her rival into the cafeteria. Karen gave the signal to her son to begin faking the asthma attack, and then she stopped the young blonde as she passed by, and asked if she would help her look for Noah's inhaler.

"He thinks he might have left it in on one of the tables, would you please check?" Karen asked before going over to help tend to her son.

Beth was always ready to help someone in need, even if she didn't particularly like that person much. She ran into the kitchen area and began looking around for the inhaler, which she soon spotted on a nearby table. She went to grab it, and suddenly became aware of another person in the room, from out of the corner of her eye. Beth turned to run but the man lunged towards her, and placed a strong hand over her mouth before she could scream. She felt a gun barrel being pressed against the side of her head, and a voice ordered her to keep moving.

Martinez guided them quickly through the tombs until they came out into the open, where the walls were down. He had a car parked close by and he dragged Beth over to it. She struggled and kicked at him, but he was able to overpower her easily enough. He gagged her, and bound her hands and feet together before bundling her into the backseat of his car. She was terrified and feared that she would never see Rick, or her father and sister again.

Noah made a very fast recovery after his mother's silent prompting, and then Karen went outside to resume her watch duty. Carol handed back the keys and rifle, and the two women walked over to the cell block together. They were met by the sound of Judith's persistent crying, and the older woman rushed inside to find out what was going on. Karen quickly took the opportunity to lock the door that led to the tombs, while there was no-one else around. She allowed herself a secret smile of satisfaction at the success of her machinations, and went back out into the yard.

Carol raised the alarm about Beth's absence, and a full scale search of the prison and its grounds was undertaken. There was no trace of her anywhere, and the whole place was soon in uproar over what could have become of her. Glenn was considering extending the search to beyond the prison grounds, when the sound of an approaching vehicle grabbed their attention. The unknown SUV screeched up the track that led to the prison, and a small object was hurled out onto the ground. The car then turned and sped away as the group fired off a few shots at it.

Glenn and Maggie went to investigate what had been left behind by the mystery visitor. They soon discovered what appeared to be a piece of paper wrapped around a large stone. They tentatively retrieved the object, which turned out to be a letter, and they took it back to where the others had gathered.

It was addressed to Rick, but in his absence, Glenn felt that he had the right to open it. Maggie and Hershel looked on with mounting fear, as they fretted about what had happened to Beth. He pulled the sheet of paper from the envelope and read it. His eyes widened in horror as he passed the letter over to his family so they could see what it said.

_Rick,_

_I very generously offered you a deal before, that you saw fit to disregard._

_But let's not dwell on past mistakes, this time, I know you'll make the right choice._

_I have Beth, and a pretty little thing she is too. If you want her back, and unharmed, you _

_will give me Michonne._

_I'll even make it easy on you, and I'll come by the prison at high noon tomorrow to collect _

_her._

_If you try to pull anything, or attack us, Beth will die._

_If you refuse to hand Michonne over, Beth will die._

_You have one chance to save her, are you going to take it?_

_Regards,_

_The Governor._

"No, no, no, no, no," the eldest Greene daughter began to sob for her sister.

"How could someone just come in here and take her, without us even noticing?" Carol questioned with incredulity.

A guilty glance passed between Maggie and Glenn, as they realised that they had be derelict in their watch duty, by succumbing to a moment of passion. The recriminations then started to fly as they began to question why no one had seen anything. The former-Woodburians were under suspicion of some kind of collusion, because the letter had been signed by the Governor. Karen was keen to deflect the responsibility for Beth's disappearance, as she noticed her son looking edgy, and turned the scrutiny back on to the couple who were on watch duty at that time.

Maggie was growing angrier under the weight of her own guilt, and she wanted someone other than herself, to blame.

"Someone here knows who took my sister, and I'm not gonna rest until I find out who," she said with an accusatory glance around the assembled group.

The angry protests of innocence resumed, as did the assigning of blame and wrongdoing.

"Enough," Hershel roared as he grew tired of the crescendo of voices.

"The Governor has my little girl, and he's going to kill her unless we hand Michonne over to him. How he managed to take her can wait for another day, but for now, we need to figure out how we're going to get her back," he appealed to them with desperation.


	9. Chapter 9

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 9

Rick climbed up onto the back of the truck and checked the surrounding area with his binoculars. They had been fortunate to only encounter the odd stray walker on their way to the superstore. But they were keeping a close eye out for the two large herds they knew frequented that spot. Daryl and the others were loading up on canned goods and other essentials, whilst Rick kept watch. He thought he could see something moving on the horizon, and focused in for a closer look. What he saw filled him with horror, and he quickly ran to get the others.

"We gotta get out of here, NOW," Rick roared as he sprinted into the store.

They grabbed whatever they could and ran back to the truck, as the biggest herd of walkers that they had ever seen, slowly advanced closer to them.

"There must be hundreds, maybe even a thousand of those things," Daryl said as he took a quick look through the binoculars.

"Let's get the hell outta here," Rick said as he finished securing the back of the truck.

They sped away as fast as they could from the herd, and had soon moved far out of its path. But in the back of their minds, was the worry that its progress could eventually bring it closer to the prison. The road branched off at various points and there were towns and other obstacles that could slow them down. But even if the herd got thinned out a little, there would still be enough walkers left to pose a significant threat. It was yet another potential problem for them to add, to what was already becoming, a long list.

Rick frowned, as he thought about what the others would say when they got back to the prison. He reasoned it would probably be best not to mention anything to the wider group, because the inner-circle was already giving him enough headaches. He was grateful that they had been able to gather plenty of supplies before their run got cut short. It mitigated one of his problems, at least, even if there were plenty more to plague him.

* * *

Maggie and Glenn were waiting for them at the gate on their return, and Rick could tell from their faces that things were about to go from bad to worse.

"What is it?" He questioned as he stepped out of the truck.

They exchanged a look as neither of them wanted to be the one to tell him.

"The Governor's got Beth," Glenn finally blurted out.

Rick wasn't sure what he had been expecting to hear, but it definitely wasn't that. He felt the world slipping away from him again, and he couldn't bear it.

"What?" He finally managed to say with disbelief.

"Come on inside," Maggie reached out her hand to guide him into the cell block.

His eyes had begun to glaze over, and she recognised that look on his face, from when she had brought Judith out into the yard without Lori. She didn't want him to disconnect from them the way he had before, not when they needed him to help get Beth back.

Rick felt himself begin to fill with rage and his lip curled up in anger.

"How did this happen?" He snarled.

Maggie quickly told him everything they knew, and he marched into the cell block to see the Governor's letter. He glanced over the note and then slammed it down onto a table, with such force that it overturned and crashed to the floor.

"No, not Beth," he began whispering over and over again until he caught sight of Hershel.

The old man looked in worse shape than when he'd had his leg chopped off.

Rick knew he had to pull himself together and figure something out.

"We're gonna get Beth back, and then I'm gonna kill that son-of-a-bitch," he vowed.

* * *

Beth struggled against her restraints, but they were fastened too tightly and writhing about was only making her wrists and ankles sore. She felt completely powerless and began to despair. The blindfold made it impossible for her to get any sense of her surroundings, other than that she seemed to be on some kind of metal flooring. She had been able to distinguish at least three different voices since her arrival at this place. But only the man who took her from the prison had spoken directly to her. Beth was sure she'd never felt this terrified before, not even on her first supply run, when Bud and his father had intended to rape her. This time was different, because Rick wasn't close by to come and save her. Although, she clung to the hope that he would still somehow ride to her rescue.

The air around her was hot and stale, which made her feel light-headed. The sudden sound of a door creaking open made her instinctively turn her head towards it. Beth was grateful to feel the rush of a cool breeze on her face, and it revived her a little. She heard heavy footsteps coming towards her, and she drew back as far as her restraints would allow. But she knew that she was trapped, and then, a pair of rough hands grabbed hold of her. She was instantly hauled up onto her feet and pushed forwards.

"Move," A gruff male voice ordered as she was manhandled out of the doorway.

They walked out in the open for a short distance; until she was directed up a small set of steps into what she thought was a trailer of some kind. She was then pushed down onto a chair, and her blindfold was removed. She blinked at the sudden burst of sunlight in her eyes through the dirt stained windows.

"Well, hello there, little lady," a grinning man wearing an eye-patch, addressed her from across the desk that they were both seated at.

Beth instantly recognised the man as the Governor, from the descriptions she had heard from the others. She was trembling with fear and began to feel sick. Whatever he wanted with her, it wasn't going to be anything good, that much she did know. She turned and looked over at the handler who'd brought her to him. She saw that he was the one who had snatched her from the prison. Martinez offered her a sinister smile that made her stomach lurch, and she turned back to face the Governor.

"You're Beth Greene, Maggie's little sister, huh? I have to say, you don't look much like her."

He appraised her with a long lingering glance.

"Maybe I should have you strip off too, just like I did your big sister, hmm? Maybe I'll see the family resemblance then," the man with the eye-patch started to snicker as he leered at her.

Beth was so afraid, she felt like she was going to pass out, and all she could think about was Rick. She didn't even know if he'd made it back from the supply run in one piece, or if he knew she had been taken.

"Are you alright, dear, you look quite pale?" He questioned in a patronising manner.

"Why am I here?" She asked in a shaky voice.

"I was told that you and Rick have a special... connection, but you seem to be a little on the young side. I didn't figure a former law enforcement officer for someone who was into jail bait, but then, he is already living in a prison."

The Governor snorted with laughter at his own quip, and looked over to check that Martinez was likewise amused.

"How old are you, my dear?" He asked.

"Eighteen," Beth replied in a quiet voice.

"Eighteen?" He whistled.

"Well, ain't that sweet. Oh, I'll just bet that Rick has been having a high old time breaking you in," the Governor sneered at her.

"You don't know a thing about us," she raged.

Her temper started to flare, but she soon fell silent once more, as she remembered her predicament.

"I know that Rick ain't ever gonna get to park his gun in your tight little holster again, unless I get what I want," he said threateningly.

Beth was shaking with fear and started to feel bile rising into her throat, but she swallowed it back. She willed herself to stay strong, in the hope that she would somehow get through this and make it back to her loved ones.

"I guess we'll all find out soon enough, if Rick likes being inside you more than he likes having a friend, who's handy with a sword of a different kind."

The Governor's laughter followed her outside as she was blindfolded again and led back to her cage.


	10. Chapter 10

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 10

Rick paced restlessly around the prison yard, and he tried not to think about what might be happening to Beth at that moment. He knew how the Governor had humiliated Maggie and forced her to demean herself. He had seen what that man was capable of with Andrea, and now he held the power of life or death over someone who was very precious to him. Rick swore to himself that he would make the Governor pay the ultimate price for this, and if he had touched Beth, he would chop off all of his offending parts first.

"Rick?" Hershel hobbled over to speak with him.

"I didn't want to say anything in front of the others, but are you sure about this plan? I just don't think it's going to work," he said with concern.

The younger man sighed wearily and put his hand on the old guy's shoulder.

"You know how much I want Beth back here with us, safe and unharmed, but I can't just hand Michonne over, you get that, right? I couldn't do it before, and I can't do it now. She's willing to put herself out there to make him think he's getting the trade, and we can't ask more of her than that," Rick explained.

"The Governor said no tricks, or else he'll kill my daughter," Hershel warned.

The younger man couldn't bear to meet his friend's eye, but he felt he owed it to him to be honest.

"His intention will be to kill her anyway, no matter what we do. Even if we played it straight and just handed Michonne over, there's no way you can trust a man like that," Rick said with sad resignation.

"But you don't know that for sure, just like you didn't know the last time he asked you to hand her over," Hershel didn't want them gambling his daughter's life on it.

"I can't lie to you, and I don't know whether this plan is gonna work, but it's our best shot."

Rick had been over it again and again in his mind, and he couldn't come up with a better solution. These impossible dilemmas he kept being expected to find answers to were wearing him down. He loved Beth, but not with the depth he'd felt for Lori. He desperately didn't want to lose her though, not now he had let her into his heart.

"But my Bethy might die," The old man said tearfully.

The younger man hugged Hershel to him and he tried to hold back his own emotions.

"You said before, all I could do was my best, and this is it. We got Maggie and Glenn away from that psycho, and he's meeting us on our turf this time. Trust me, that piece of shit is going down," Rick vowed.

* * *

Beth groaned, as her body protested from a night spent sleeping on a hard metal floor. Her lips were dry, as was her mouth; they had given her a few gulps of water, but not enough to slake her thirst. The pulled herself up into a sitting position at the sound of approaching footsteps, and waited for whatever was coming next. Her blindfold had been replaced as soon as she was led away from her meeting with the Governor. But Beth had the idea that she was being kept in some kind of storage facility.

The door creaked open and she was hauled to her feet.

"C'mon Blondie, we're taking a ride."

It was the same gruff voice she'd heard the day before, commanding her to move.

"Where are we going?" She questioned hoarsely as they walked out into the cool morning air.

"We're gonna play a little game of he loves me, he loves me not, ya know it?" Martinez mockingly asked.

He started to laugh and Beth shuddered as he loaded her into the truck. He had his own agenda, which he hoped would help to secure him a place at the prison.

They drove for a long while in complete silence, and then the Governor spoke.

"So, Beth, what's Rick like in bed, huh? I was thinking he was the traditional sort; a real southern gentleman. But now I know he likes deflowering young maidens, I'm not so sure," he jeered.

She was disgusted by his question and refused to answer it.

"Oh, come now, don't be so coy, or maybe we'll have to make an unscheduled stop and show you what real men can do," he threatened.

Beth was almost overcome with terror at the thought of what he was suggesting, and she began to hyperventilate.

"Are we getting you excited, huh? Does Rick make you scream? I made Andrea scream."

The Governor roared with laughter, and his two accomplices nervously joined in.

"Please, don't hurt me."

Beth knew it was pathetic, and doubtless, futile to beg, but it was all she could do.

"Answer the question," the Governor demanded.

"I don't know what you want me to say. Rick is sweet and gentle, and he treats me real good in every way," she said through her tears.

"How very... dull, I was hoping for something with a little more pepper than that," he said with mock disappointment.

They continued to drive on in silence, until they came to a sudden halt. Martinez removed Beth's blindfold and she gasped with relief at the familiar sight of the prison. The outer gate, which they'd mangled the first time they came calling, and then subsequently cobbled back together by the group, had been left open.

"Be ready, and watch for my signal," the Governor instructed his two accomplices.

He dragged Beth out of the truck and held her close, with his gun pressed to the side of her head. She could see Rick and Michonne stood up ahead, close to the second prison gate. But her fear over what might happen next, cancelled out any joy she felt about being reunited with him. He gave her a tight smile of reassurance, and she managed to return the gesture despite her terror.

"Where is everybody?" The Governor questioned Rick with suspicion.

"You only asked for Michonne," he answered.

"I warned you against trying to pull anything, I said no tricks, or maybe you want me to shoot your little girlfriend, huh? What, is she too clingy, too needy, hmm? Maybe she's no good in the sack," the man with the eye-patch taunted his nemesis.

"What trick am I trying to pull? You asked for Michonne, and here she is. It all seems pretty straightforward to me. All you have to do is come get her, and give Beth back to me," Rick ignored his taunts and coaxed him instead.

The Governor kept his good eye locked on them, and was practically foaming at the mouth at the sight of the sword-wielding woman, who he reckoned had done him so much harm.

He took a couple of hesitant steps forward, and then thought better of it, as he noticed something suspicious. The van, he had once sent into the prison grounds to deliver a load of walkers, was now positioned near the outer gate. He was sure that it was part of a trap and he prepared to kill his hostage. He didn't want to shoot her through the head, because then she wouldn't reanimate, and so he released her from his grasp.

Beth set off running towards Rick as the Governor raised his gun, he was about to pull the trigger when a bolt hit him square in the shoulder, causing him to misfire and drop his weapon. A hail of bullets began ricocheting around the outsiders, as Glenn and Maggie started firing from their position inside the van. Shumpert moved to return fire whilst the Governor scrambled to retrieve his gun. Michonne had already taken cover but Rick was waiting for Beth to reach him, so he could get her to safety.

Daryl managed to fire a few more bolts off, but the sound of gunfire had started to draw walkers in from the surrounding area. He was forced to flee deeper into the woodland to evade the mounting threat. Martinez saw his plan to save the day, crumbling before his eyes as the undead started to surround him. He was forced to concentrate his rifle fire on them, whilst Shumpert kept up his defensive position behind the truck. The Governor somehow managed to dodge the flying bullets, and he raised his gun with his uninjured arm. Beth was still running towards Rick, and he fired at the Governor to try and cover her. But the man with the eye-patch had her in his sight, and he took his shot.

"No," Rick shouted in horror as he watched her fall.

Shumpert shouted for the Governor to get back to the truck, as he laid down covering fire. But the man with the eye-patch was too entranced by the sight of the young blonde lying motionless on the ground, to move.

Maggie and Glenn had to cease firing to reload, and Shumpert took the opportunity to run and get his leader. Rick aimed his last bullet at them, and managed to hit the black guy in the shoulder. They still made it to their truck, but Martinez was completely surrounded by walkers, his plan to get rid of the man with the eye-patch to curry favour with Rick, had gone as wrong as it could. He was out of ammo, and his pleas for help were ignored as he was set upon. The Governor drove off without any regard for his fallen comrade as the walkers tore Martinez apart.

Rick gave out an anguished howl, as he covered the short distance to where Beth lay bleeding from a wound to the head, and he clutched her tightly to him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to everyone who has been reading this fic, and especially to everyone who has taken the time to leave a review. I always appreciate your feedback, and it's great to know that so many of you are enjoying this story.**

**I should just restate that I do not own anything when it comes the The Walking Dead characters etc, although I have made a few up for this fic. I'm just enjoying doing nice, and not so nice things to them all.**

**I couldn't bear to leave the story on a mean cliffhanger, so I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Thanks again, folks. - Mrs P.**

* * *

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 11

"Beth?"

Maggie screamed, as she and Glenn ran over to where Rick was cradling her sister in his arms.

He gently smoothed back a few strands of her blood soaked hair and was overcome with emotion. A teardrop rolled off his chin and splashed onto Beth's face; she immediately reacted by blinking her eyes.

"She's alive," Maggie cried out with relief.

Rick gasped and checked her wound; it was very bloody but it looked like the bullet had only skimmed over the top of her head. She was dazed and would probably need stitches, but she was going to be alright.

"Hey, I thought I'd lost you for a second there," he said as he tenderly scooped her up in his arms.

Beth was too shocked to process everything that had just happened to her, and she buried her face against Rick's shirt.

Michonne had gone to help Daryl, and they were just finishing dispatching the walkers that wandered out of the woods. They pulled the outer gate shut, and then followed the others back inside the cell block.

Hershel was frantic with worry as he waited in the entrance way, and he feared the worst as he caught sight of his injured daughter, but Rick quickly sought to reassure him.

"She's gonna be okay, it's just a scratch," He said as he placed her gently down onto her bunk.

Beth began to cry and she grabbed hold of his hand.

"I thought I'd never see you again," she said through her tears.

"Did he do anything to you?" Rick questioned.

"Did he lay his hands on you?"

He was angry at himself for failing to keep her safe from harm, and for not ending the Governor, as he had vowed to do.

Beth was still bewildered after her ordeal, and she couldn't find the words to set his mind at peace.

"Leave her be for now and let me tend to her, all that other stuff can wait," Hershel insisted as he edged the younger man out of the way so he could get to his daughter.

Rick reluctantly backed off and went to talk with the others.

"I say we should go after them, finish that prick off once and for all," Daryl argued.

"What did Beth say? The Governor didn't do anything to her, did he?" Maggie asked with fear as she recalled her own brush with that odious man.

Glenn looked on with anger and concern because it brought back painful memories for him too. He knew what it was like to feel powerless while the woman he loved was put through hell.

"She's in no condition to answer those kinda questions right now. Maybe you could go talk to her and your dad, in a little while," Rick knew what she had endured and he thought it might be best if she were the one to question her sister.

He couldn't bear the thought of Beth being defiled by that man, but if anything had happened, he reasoned that she would probably feel more comfortable talking to Maggie about it.

"Are we goin' after that piece a shit, or not?" Daryl asked impatiently.

"They could be anywhere by now, besides they were both pretty badly injured, let's see if Beth can tell us anything about where they might be at, before we go charging off," Rick wanted the Governor dead as much as his friend did, but they couldn't just chase after him without any clue as to where he might be.

"How many times are we just gonna sit here, waiting for that scumbag to come knocking again?" Glenn angrily asked.

"Look, if you and Daryl wanna go running off on a wild goose chase, be my guest. But don't forget what happened to Merle. If we can get a fix on where he is, then I'll be the first one hitting the road to go pay him a call. I'm just asking that we take a clear headed approach to this problem, okay?" Rick wearily appealed to them.

They were willing to back down for now, but the discontent within the group had only been made worse by recent events, and there seemed to be no end in sight to their troubles.

Karen had been looking on with increasing dread, from the moment she realised Beth was still alive. She knew that Martinez hadn't made it, but she wasn't sure how far her actions would incriminate her. It wasn't as if she had personally delivered the blonde to her abductor, but they had to know that someone inside the prison had colluded with the Governor's group. Karen silently rebuked herself for getting involved in the plot. She knew it was all driven by her own envy over someone else having something she wanted. She went to talk to her son to make sure he wouldn't let anything slip, because she knew how guilty he'd been feeling about the whole Beth situation.

* * *

Maggie put her arm around her father as they both watched over a sleeping Beth.

"How is she?" The brunette questioned with deep concern.

"She'll be just fine," her father reassured her.

"Did the Governor do anything to her, besides almost succeed in blowing her head off?"

Maggie couldn't rest easy until she knew for sure that he hadn't molested her sister.

"Beth said he didn't touch her," he said.

"Did she say anything about how they managed to take her from the prison in the first place?"

The eldest Greene girl still had her suspicions about the former-Woodbury residents.

Hershel shook his head.

"Daddy, there's something I think I oughta tell you, about Beth and Rick."

Maggie wouldn't normally betray her sister's confidence, but protecting her was the main priority, after everything that had happened.

"I already know," her father replied.

"And you're okay with it?" His eldest daughter questioned with incredulity.

"I was, I mean, I am. Rick is a good man, and this wasn't his fault," Hershel was battling against his doubts, and fears for his little girl.

"Maybe not directly, but I don't believe for one minute that she was selected at random. Whoever it was that helped deliver her to the Governor, knew exactly what she meant to Rick," the brunette argued.

Beth stirred and began awakening from her short slumber. She looked confused and fearful for a moment, until she realised she was safely back inside the prison with her family.

Maggie bent over and kissed her sister gently on the forehead.

"Hey, do you need anything?" She asked.

"Where's Rick?"

Beth heard the tail-end of their conversation, and she was determined that he wasn't going to be blamed for what had happened to her.

"He's on watch," Maggie said but made no offer to go and get him.

"Why don't we have a chat first, huh? I was so worried about you," she held her sister's hand tightly in hers.

"How did the Governor manage to take you from here?" She questioned.

Beth was reluctant to answer because she wanted to speak to Rick first, but Maggie was insistent.

"One of the Governor's men was hiding out in the cafeteria, and he grabbed me and dragged me through the tombs. He had a car waiting at the other end and then he drove us to the place where they held me. I was blindfolded the whole time, so I don't know where we went, other than it might have been some kind of storage facility. I only saw the inside of a trailer when I met the Governor, and the windows were real dirty so I couldn't see anything out of them," she explained.

Beth didn't feel like talking anymore, and her head was hurting. Her father gave her some strong painkillers so that she could get some more rest. He checked to see if the dressing on her wound needed changing, but the bleeding had stopped and no stitches were required. He softly kissed her cheek and then they left her to sleep in peace.

* * *

Rick paced around the guard tower with his mind on his troubles, and Beth. She had been his one light in the darkness, but now he felt like his touch had doomed her. He loved Lori more than reason, and he'd lost her too. It seemed to him, like every good thing in this world got twisted and corrupted, until all that remained were decaying ruins. He wondered if this might be an ideal opportunity to put some distance between them. The future, as far as he could imagine it, was set to hold nothing but more trouble and potential misery for him. It didn't seem fair that he should expect Beth to stand by his side through it all. She would most likely welcome the chance to break things off before they got even more involved, he reasoned. But the thought of living without her love cut him deeper than he expected it too. He was glad to see Glenn coming to takeover on watch, so that he could go and see the person who had been so much on his mind.

Hershel watched as Rick entered the cell block, and he thought about warning him off from disturbing his daughter's rest. But he knew how badly she wanted to see him, and that she would only feel worse if he was kept away. Beth had already woken up, and when she heard the sound of approaching footsteps, she prayed for it to be Rick. She couldn't hide her delight when he walked into her cell and she beckoned him over into her waiting open arms. He quickly knelt down next to her bunk so that she could kiss and embrace him.

"I missed you so much, I love you," she whispered tearfully and held onto him as tightly as she could.

He pulled back slightly and gently touched her head where it was bandaged.

"And look where loving me has got you," he said with sadness.

"No, you're not taking the blame for this, I won't let you," Beth was adamant.

"Just tell me that he didn't touch you," Rick pleaded.

"He didn't, he threatened to, and he said awful things, but he didn't lay a hand on me," she assured him.

"What things?" He questioned.

"He just wanted to embarrass me by asking what we did in bed," Beth felt her cheeks blush just thinking about it.

Rick's face contorted with anger and contempt for the Governor.

"I meant to kill him, but he got away, and now I got folks itching to go after him. It's one thing after another, and the troubles just keep on coming," he said wearily.

"I hate to add to them, but the Governor's man got to me through the tombs, which means that someone here let him in. He also knew about us, he said that he'd heard we had a special connection, so someone must have told him," Beth explained.

He sighed and then his lip curled up with rage.

"I'll find them, whoever they are, and make them pay for what they've done," he vowed.

"I don't want any more blood spilled," She pleaded.

"We can't avoid it, but I swear that next time, it won't be yours."

Rick took her hand in his, and he began to look guilty.

"You could've died today, and I had to go out there, knowing that I was taking that risk. I couldn't hand Michonne over, because I knew it wouldn't make any difference; the Governor would still have tried to kill you to get to me. I'm someone who gambles with people's lives, Beth, and you say you love me? I've done terrible things, and I'll probably have to do even worse before my time on this earth is through. I don't wanna drag you down with me," he had to be honest even if it meant losing her.

"I've known you for over a year now. In that time I've seen you at your best and I've seen you at your worst. I do love you, Rick Grimes, and if you're going to hell, then I'm going right along with you."

Beth pulled him in for a lingering kiss and held onto him like she would never let go.


	12. Chapter 12

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 12

The cell block echoed with the sound of angry voices and accusations, as it had done for the last couple of days. Maggie's suspicions about the person who betrayed them, and helped deliver Beth to the Governor, were centred on Karen. She couldn't help but notice the other woman was always quick to deflect any blame away from herself. She might have been guilty, but her protestations of innocence found an ally in Hershel. He was forced to back her up when she reminded him of her son's asthma attack, and they both recalled that his daughter was still in the cell block at the time. Beth was also able to corroborate Karen's version of events, but Maggie was still unconvinced. She wanted the other woman locked in a cell, until they could find a way to resolve the matter. But without majority support, it was instead agreed, that she would be stripped of her weapons and relieved of watch duty.

The atmosphere of suspicion and festering resentment was making life uncomfortable for everyone inside the prison. Their food rations were low and would only last until the end of the week. The threat that the massive walker herd posed to any future supply runs, was a major concern. Then there was the Governor, who was still alive and on the loose. Rick stopped thinking that things couldn't possibly get any worse a long time ago. Because every time he did, he was proven to be wrong. The only bright spot for him was seeing Beth was back on her feet again. He asked her if she felt well enough to accompany him on watch duty, and she jumped at the chance.

They climbed up into the guard tower, and she couldn't help recalling the last time they were there. She put her arms around him and rested her head against his chest.

"The only thing scarier than being held by the Governor was the thought that I might never get to do this again," she said and reached up to tenderly kiss him.

Rick embraced her tightly to him, and sighed. The weight of responsibility was pressing down heavily on him again, and he needed to do something to calm the unrest within the group.

"Maggie thinks we should keep a guard on Karen, but that's gonna be tricky. What about you, do you think it was her who set you up?" He asked.

"Honestly, I don't know, and I certainly ain't got any evidence. I do know she had her sights set on you, so maybe she just wanted to get me out of the way," Beth shuddered to think that anyone would be so cold and calculating.

"She did come on pretty strong a couple of weeks ago, she even offered to... well, never mind," he stopped himself from revealing exactly what Karen had been willing to do for him.

The young blonde gave him a quizzical look.

"It doesn't matter now, I was never gonna take her up on it," Rick said.

"Why not? I mean, you and her kinda make more sense than you and me. She's around the same age as you and she has a son, the two of you have stuff in common," Beth argued.

He considered her question for a moment, and thought about the choices he'd made. Their age difference played on his mind, but it was partly her youth and vitality that had drawn him to her. She reminded him of what it meant to be alive and to hope for a better day to come.

"You can't just choose to find someone attractive because it makes sense, the chemistry, or whatever the heck it is, don't work like that. Anyways, since when was falling in love with someone based on reason?" He asked.

She was about to protest some more when she realised exactly what he'd just said.

"Wait a minute, are you saying you've fallen in love with me?" She questioned.

Rick looked at her as if she was crazy.

"You've never said the words, is all," Beth almost whispered as her insecurity resurfaced.

"D'you think I could be with you the way I am, if I didn't love you?" Rick asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

She started to kiss his neck and tenderly caress him, as her hands worked their way down his body.

"Oh, Jesus," he gasped as she reached his pants.

"We can't. I'm on watch, and I can't afford to take my eye off the ball again," Rick protested and employed the steely resolve that had deserted him the last time he'd neglected his duty.

Beth reluctantly took a step away from him but could see he was turned on.

"We could make it real quick, or I could just do something for you," she tempted him.

"You'd better go back to the cells, and I'll find you when I'm done here. Oh, and when I do, we'll take it real slow," he promised her with a smouldering look in his eyes, which melted her to the core.

* * *

Hershel was reading his daily lesson from the bible to his small group of the faithful, when Beth got back to the cell block.

"_For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God."_

He saw her and smiled as he finished his session with the Lord's Prayer. She joined in with the others as they spoke it aloud, and then her father beckoned her over to him.

"I've been giving a lot of thanks to the Lord just lately, for delivering you safely back to us. My faith has been tested to its limits these last couple of years, after what happened to your momma and Shawn, and everyone else. But I prayed for you to be spared and here you are, so how can I doubt his power, or his mercy?" Hershel said.

Beth held his hand and kissed his forehead.

"I prayed too, and whether it was God, or someone a little closer to earth, who saved me, I'm truly thankful," she smiled.

"Don't get too carried away with your romantic notions, as good a man as Rick is, he was still willing to risk your life," Hershel cautioned her.

"Daddy, please don't turn against him, or us, because he wasn't willing to do the Governor's bidding to get me back. If he had done, well, he wouldn't have been the man I fell in love with. You understand that, right?" Beth pleaded for her father's understanding.

"I just love you so much, and I'd give anything to see you safe and protected," he said.

"No, you wouldn't give anything, because you're a lot like Rick that way, or maybe he's a lot like you. I know how much you want to keep me safe, but you wouldn't sell your soul to the devil to do it, and I wouldn't want you too," she said tearfully as she went to hug him.

They embraced for a long moment and Hershel found that he had never felt prouder of his daughter. He wiped a tear away and then let his mind drift back to more mundane matters.

"You know, with everything that's been going on, I've neglected some of my duties. I should check that everyone has all the medication they need, will you help out?" Her father requested.

"You know I would, daddy, but I already promised Carol that I'd take Judith, and I missed her so much while I was away," Beth explained.

Hershel nodded.

"I guess it can wait until the morning. Your head wound is healing just fine, but make sure you don't overdo things," he warned as she went to find Carol.

* * *

Beth cradled Judith, and found herself singing a lullaby as the baby drifted off to sleep. It had been hours since she left Rick on watch, but he still hadn't come to find her. She reasoned that their passionate reunion had probably been put on hold, because he'd got so many other important things he needed to attend to. But just as she placed Judith back into her crib, she heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Hey, how would you like to take care of your sister for a while?" Rick asked his son as they both appeared at the entrance to Beth's cell.

"Why, where are you and Beth going?" Carl asked with suspicion.

"Oh, we just have some stuff to do," his dad casually replied.

"Stuff?" His son questioned.

"Yeah, stuff, y'know; things. Anyway, you haven't seen your sister all day and she's sleeping now, so it's not like you'll have to change any poopy diapers," Rick argued.

"Okay," Carl sighed with resignation as he slumped down on Beth's bunk.

"Good. We'll be back real soon," his father smiled as he ushered the young blonde out to keep their date.

She couldn't help giggling as she followed Rick into the moonlit yard and over to the empty cell block. Once they were inside he scooped her off her feet and carried her over to the nearest bunk.

"I've been thinking about doing this all day," he whispered in her ear and then moved in to kiss her.

They took their time, just like he promised, and afterwards they held onto each other while they tried not to remember that the world outside was still falling apart.


	13. Chapter 13

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 13

The sound of Judith's babbling woke Beth up with a start, and she immediately sprang into action to get her bottle ready. She had volunteered to look after the baby so that Rick and Carl could get a good night's sleep. The rest of the block was quiet and Carol was on watch duty with Daryl, so she had the cell to herself. There was only the sound of various snores echoing around the place, as Beth carried Judith into the cafeteria.

She hadn't been alone in that place since the Governor's henchman abducted her, and her nerves were on edge. She scanned around the room and tentatively went to check that the door to the tombs was locked, which it was. Beth slowly began to feel at ease with the familiar routine of preparing Judith's bottle. She then carried the baby back to her cell to feed her. The sun had begun to rise, and the first light of morning started to stream in through the barred windows. She felt her tired eyes growing heavy, as she listened to the rhythmic sound of Judith hungrily sucking down her formula.

A shuffling noise from somewhere inside the cell block caught Beth's attention, and she got up to look for its origin. She cautiously peered out from her doorway, and held the baby protectively to her. There was a low growling sound coming from one of the cells, which was then accompanied by a throaty gargling. She placed Judith into her crib and then carefully inched towards the source of the disturbance.

The noises changed to something like a dog gnawing on a juicy bone, as Beth progressed to the cell at the end of the row. She tentatively peered inside, and then recoiled in horror at the sight of a walker chowing down on one of the elderly members of the group. It caught her scent and lumbered out into the cell block after her. She screamed in terror as she fumbled to get hold of her weapons. Noah heard her cry out and he rushed to offer help, only to find himself in the path of the walker, as it bit into his neck. Rick also heard the scream and he came bounding down the stairs with his knife drawn, but he was too late to save the boy.

"What the hell?" He asked with bewilderment as he stared down at the carnage at his feet.

Beth stood frozen in shock.

Karen came running out of her cell, screaming and sobbing over the sight of her son, who was lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood.

The cell block was suddenly filled with the sound of horrified confusion and sorrow, as the rest of the group came to investigate the commotion.

"Oh my God, it's Mr Barclay," Hershel said as he recognised the walker that Rick had despatched.

"I never got to check if he'd been taking his medication; he had a weak heart," he explained.

"Please, help my son." Karen desperately begged.

Rick checked out Mr Barclay's cell and found the mauled dead body of his roommate, another of the older residents, a man called Albert Hopper. He stabbed the corpse through the head to prevent reanimation, and then he turned his attention back to the other casualty.

Hershel tended to Noah, but the boy was slipping away, and all that was left for them to do was to put him out of his misery.

Tyreese, Michonne and Sasha were waiting for Rick to say the word before they stepped in to help. He gave them the signal, and went to speak to Karen.

"I'm so very sorry about your boy, but you gotta let us take care of him now," he said as he gestured to Sasha and Michonne to restrain her.

She screamed and fought as Rick and Tyreese picked up the unconscious Noah, and carried him outside so that they could put a bullet in his head.

Their actions sparked unrest amongst some of the other group members, but Maggie and Glenn came in from watch duty to help keep order. Michonne moved to quickly lock all the exits, to keep everyone else inside until the deed had been done.

Beth sat cradling Judith in her cell as silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

* * *

Rick rubbed at his temple as he took a break from grave digging, and rested against the handle of the shovel. He had been so concerned with the threats from outside to the prison, that he hadn't paid enough attention to what was happening inside. The result was three bodies to bury and a group of hysterical people to deal with. Hershel had administered a sedative to Karen to calm her down; however quelling the unrest amongst the others was proving a more difficult task. Some of them wanted to leave the prison and take their chances on the road, but that wasn't an option. The majority were mostly just angry and afraid, because the place they'd thought was a safe haven was turning out to be anything but.

"So much for using this land to grow crops in, the only things we seem to be planting out here are more dead bodies," Daryl said as he threw another shovel full of dirt onto the pile.

"We're gonna have to be more careful, put folks on watch inside as well as out, maybe section off the older folks, or at least lock their cell doors at night," Rick said.

"What about Hershel? He ain't gonna like that, and it's gonna be tough on you, seen as how you're banging his daughter. Man, that's one hell of a shit filled hole you've dug yourself," Daryl warned.

"Does everyone know about me and Beth?" The former sheriff's deputy was only concerned about Carl finding out before he had a chance to tell him.

"Ya ain't exactly been subtle about it, and I was on watch duty last night, remember? Ya might wanna tell your girlfriend to bite down on a pillow, or somethin', else folks might think she's screamin' for help," the hunter snidely remarked.

"Yeah, well, she was screaming for help this morning, and she'll understand why we have to take tougher action now," Rick said.

"Maybe, but ya sure got a knack for gettin' yourself tied up in big ol' knots," the hunter sighed.

"You got a problem with me being with Beth?" The former sheriff's deputy questioned.

"She's a little on the young side, but it ain't my business where ya bury the bone. Gotta grab happiness where ya can, I guess. Never know whether you'll be the one diggin' the grave, or the poor son-of-a-bitch in need a one, right?" Daryl said as he kept on shovelling.

* * *

Beth had fallen into a fitful sleep, after the commotion in the cell block died down a little. Judith's babbling awoke her, as it had done earlier that day, and she was instantly reminded of the morning's horrors. She lifted the baby out of her crib and took her to the cafeteria, where she found her father reading from his bible. He was attempting to restore some calm to the group, even though most of them still looked edgy and upset. Beth recalled something from the previous day, when she had turned down her daddy's request to help him check on the folks who needed medication. The guilt began to gnaw at her, and she couldn't help but feel responsible for what had happened with Mr Barclay, because they might have been able to pick up on him feeling unwell if they'd made those rounds. She waited for her father to finish speaking and then she went over to see him.

"How's Karen doing?" Beth asked.

She had set aside her own feelings on the other woman's suspected foul deeds, in light of the morning's events. Whatever Karen's crimes might have been, her punishment was far worse than anything Beth would wish upon her.

"She's resting now, but I don't know what'll happen when she wakes up," Hershel said with concern.

"Daddy, I feel just awful about everything. If we'd seen Mr Barclay yesterday, or if I'd been able to act quicker to put him down, this morning, Noah might still be alive," she began to cry.

"It wasn't your fault, baby. I should've checked up on him sooner. I knew he had a weak heart, but even so, there would probably still have been no way of telling when it would give out," her father explained.

The sound of hysterical crying coming from inside the cell block, made the group from the cafeteria rush in to see what was going on.

"You, it was you, it's ALWAYS YOU," Karen screamed and pointed accusingly at the young blonde as she came face to face with her.

Hershel tried to calm the grieving mother down, but she pushed past him.

Beth still had Judith in her arms, and so she couldn't stop Karen from making a lunge for her gun.

Maggie and Glenn came running out of their cell but they were too late to stop her.

She held the pistol up and aimed it at Beth and Judith.

"Why should you get to have everything you want, huh? It was me who set you up, and yes, I helped Martinez take you to the Governor. I wanted you gone. You stole Rick away from me, and now my boy is dead because of YOU," Karen raged.

There was a crescendo of voices pleading for mercy, and then suddenly, a shot rang out.


	14. Chapter 14

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 14

Carl stood frozen with his gun raised, as Karen lay dead from a bullet to the head at his feet. The cell block erupted into chaos for the second time that day, as Hershel looked on in despair.

"I had to, she was gonna shoot my sister and Beth."

The boy angrily defended himself, although no one spoke to reproach him for his actions. They were all too shocked by the turn of events, after what had already been a turbulent morning.

Maggie went to get a sheet to cover the body, as Glenn and Hershel appealed for calm from the rest of the group.

Beth took Judith out into the yard to get some air, and because she couldn't bear to look at Karen's body for a second longer.

Rick and Daryl had raced up from the grave site to investigate the gunshot noise. They saw the young blonde and began questioning her, but she wasn't making much sense.

"Karen's dead. You'd better go dig another grave." She said in an almost robotic way as she struggled to process her mixed emotions.

Carl came stalking out of the cell block and he stilled at the sight of his father.

"I had to shoot her, dad. She got Beth's gun and she was gonna use it; she would've killed Judith if I hadn't taken her out." He argued.

Rick regarded the scene with wide-eyed bewilderment as the realisation of what his son had done, hit him. He looked at Carl and then his eyes flitted back to the young blonde who was holding his daughter. He sighed and rubbed at his face then raked his hand through his hair as he wondered what he should do next.

Glenn came bursting out of the cell block and then halted, as he saw the others standing there.

"Guys, things are starting to turn ugly again, and I need a hand to move Karen's body." He said as Daryl moved to assist him.

"We'll talk about this later, okay?" Rick promised his son.

He stole a quick glance at all of his loved ones, before heading inside to try and calm things down.

Beth walked over to Carl and they warily met each other's gaze.

"I'm sorry you had to do that, but I know you were thinking of Judith." She said as the baby gurgled happily in her arms.

"Yeah, well, if you learnt how to actually use your gun, instead of losing it, then maybe I wouldn't have had too." He was typically truculent in his response.

Carl fidgeted around tracing patterns in the dirt with his boot. He had something else on his mind, and it wasn't just because of what he'd heard Karen say. He was already suspicious and he needed to get an answer, whether he liked it, or not.

"Is there something going on with you and my dad?" He asked as his eyes flitted from the young blonde and back to the floor.

Beth nervously shifted about because he had put her on the spot, and she didn't want to usurp Rick's place by being the one to inform his son of their relationship. He looked at her expectantly, and it was clear that he wouldn't be brushed off; she would have to tell him something.

"It's not like I'm trying to take your momma's place, or anything, but I love your dad." She said.

"Like you ever could take mom's place." Carl sneered.

Beth reached out to him but he shrank away from her touch.

"Y'know if you hadn't been holding my sister at the time, then maybe I woulda just let Karen shoot you." He said.

"You don't mean that." She replied.

"You'd best hope that you never have to find out." Carl said menacingly.

"Hey, c'mon, we can still be friends, can't we? We've been through so much together." Beth pleaded with him.

"I'll tell you what, if my dad gets you pregnant, I'll promise to do for you what I did for my mom, how's that?" He said with contempt.

"Carl?" She tearfully called after him as he walked away.

* * *

The whole group, except for Carl who had stayed inside the cell block to watch over his sleeping sister, were gathered at the graves site. The four bodies had been buried and wooden crosses marked out the head of each mound. Hershel performed the funeral service and concluded with the Lord's Prayer. He looked to his youngest daughter who was standing mournfully at his side, and he appealed for her to sing something. She was reluctant for many reasons, not least because she felt largely responsible for all four deaths. Rick had also been distant towards her since the events of the morning, and finding out that Carl knew about their relationship. Beth felt utterly miserable but to oblige her father, she sang _Abide With Me_, one of his favourite funereal hymns.

_Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;_

_Earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away;_

_Change and decay in all around I see;_

_O thou who changest not, abide with me._

Rick couldn't help but be moved by her singing, and he gave her a sad kind of smile as he prepared to address the group.

"To say that today has been a bad day, would be an understatement. But we've all had our fair share of bad days in the past, and I dare say we'll have to endure a few more before our time here is through. We gotta move past this, and keep on striving for the return of the good days by continuing to rebuild our community. Because the only way we get to have those better days, is with each other's help." He spoke earnestly.

The assembled crowd graciously listened to Rick's speech, but their faces showed that they had a long way to go to be convinced of the truth of his words. They all began to disperse to resume their various duties, and Beth ran after their leader as he went to resume his watch duty.

"Rick?" She called as he strode on ahead of her.

He stopped and waited for her to catch up to him.

"I already said I was sorry, for everything. Please don't be mad at me, I can't stand it."

Beth wanted so much for him to take her into his arms and make the rest of the world go away, but he didn't.

"I'm not mad; I just have other things that I gotta take care of. My son needs me, the group need me, and that's where my focus has to be right now." Rick said with resolve.

"So, what does that mean for us?" She questioned with sad confusion.

"I guess it means that you and I will have to put things on hold for a while. These people look to me, they need me, and I don't wanna let them down. I just ain't got the time or the energy for anything else."

He hated saying those words to her, but the happenings of that day had been a major wake up call for him. He been distracted by his relationship with Beth, and as a result everything around him was falling apart. Rick realised that he had to refocus on what was important, and if that meant putting his own happiness on hold indefinitely, then so be it. His son had gunned down yet another person, and his anger over his father's new love made the situation even direr. He couldn't justify indulging his own desires, at a time when so many more important things demanded his attention.

Beth had tears in her eyes and she looked as if her heart was breaking in two before him.

"I need you." She said in a voice that was little more than a desperate whisper.

He reached out his hand, as if he was going to stroke her face, but then thought better of it and drew back again.

"I'm sorry, really I am, but this is just the way it's gotta be, for a while at least. Let's just worry about getting the group dynamics back on track, and when things settle down, we'll see where we stand then, okay?" Rick said.

Beth was too upset to formulate any kind of response, and instead she just watched him walk away as the tears she'd been holding back started to flow.


	15. Chapter 15

**I've been having such problems with the story lately, I've got up to chapter 18 written and I'm not sure I'm happy with the direction it's taken. I thought I would post this chapter and see what you all make of it, as the rest of what I've written hinges on the big revelation contained within it. I won't say anymore at this point, but your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you - Mrs P.**

* * *

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 15

A couple of weeks had passed since the funerals, and Rick had been true to his word in keeping away from Beth. It was tortuous for him at times to be close enough to touch her, but to have to deny himself. She looked pale and had sadness in her eyes which he knew he was responsible for. He resolved to keep out of her way as much as was possible, in theory, to make it easier on both of them. But in his quiet moments she filled his thoughts, and by the way her eyes followed him around when they were in each other's company, he presumed she was similarly afflicted.

Rick found himself on night watch, and as Carol, Daryl and Michonne had taken up positions outside, it was left to him to patrol the cell block. He walked along the upper level to a chorus of folks snoring and sighing in their sleep, and then he quietly descended to the lower level. He slowly paced the floor and found himself hesitating outside Beth's cell. Her long blonde hair was visible from beneath her blanket and it cascaded down the side of the bunk. It seemed that she was slumbering but as he edged closer he could hear snuffling noises. He wondered if she was crying and pressed himself up against the bars of her cell door to listen. If she sensed his presence, she didn't give any indication of it.

"Beth?" Rick whispered.

She turned over to face him and then slowly climbed out of bed. She took the few steps needed to meet him at the other side of the bars, and he was sure that she was naked but for an oversized white t-shirt. His heart was pounding and he could feel himself beginning to get aroused. Beth didn't say a word, and she didn't need too, she just stood before him with her big blue eyes pleading with him to make love to her. He grabbed a hold of the bars and she covered his hands with her own, letting her fingers gently stroke his, as they held each other's gaze.

He wanted to find the strength to turn and walk away, but she was too tempting. She could see his internal battle and broke contact with him, taking a step back into the shadows. He mourned the loss of her touch, and he thought for a second that she had found the resolve he lacked to turn away. But Beth had other intentions, and instead she took a hold of the hem of her t-shirt and slowly peeled it off. He was transfixed as she exposed her lithe body to him, and he knew he couldn't hold out much longer. She lay back on the bed and her blonde hair fanned out across her naked breasts. It was Rick's undoing, and he unlocked the cell and swiftly swooped in to claim her.

"I want you so bad." Beth whispered into his ear as he took her with the full force of his pent up passion.

They struggled to remain silent, lest they should awaken the whole cell block, as their bodies fervently joined together.

The next few weeks continued in much the same way, with Rick and Beth avoiding contact with each other in public, but then stealing private moments of bliss whenever they could. Hardly a word was exchanged during their sexual encounters, but the passion between them ran deep.

* * *

The general atmosphere inside the prison was still a little strained after recent events, but everyone had been working hard to restore a sense of normality. The practical reality of the loss of some of their number meant that there were fewer mouths to feed. They were even able to start building up supplies, but they still kept up frequent runs to maintain them. The massive walker herd that had been such a concern, seemed to have gotten waylaid somewhere on the road, but there was no telling when it would reappear. There had also been no more sightings of the Governor, but they stayed ever vigilant.

Rick rested his rifle on his knee as he stared out over the prison grounds from the guard tower. Carl was at his side and he had been making sure they spent quality time in each other's company. His son's growing coldness was something that he felt he desperately needed to get a handle on, but things were still strained between them. The public cooling off of his relationship with Beth had eased the way a little, but Carl was full of anger and resentment.

"I was planning on taking a few of the others on another supply run tomorrow, you wanna come?" Rick asked his son.

"You know I do, but I thought you said it was too dangerous." Carl hadn't been out of the prison since before they'd encountered the walker herd.

"It can get dangerous anywhere these days, besides, I think you can handle it." His father wanted to show that he had trust and faith in him.

The boy gave a rare smile and excused himself to prepare for the trip.

Beth had been watching father and son from a safe distance. She had an urgent request that she needed to make of Rick, and seeing Carl depart, she took her opportunity.

"Hey, what're you doing up here?" He questioned as she appeared on the deck of the guard tower.

He was mindful of their unspoken agreement to keep their distance when other folks were around. He was also very aware of the fact that they hadn't found any opportunities to be alone together for a few days.

"You know we can't do _that_ when I'm on watch." Rick cautioned as he suspected an ulterior motive for her visit.

He wanted her, he always did these days, but he was clear-headed enough to stand by his personal vow not to lapse again when he was on duty.

"That ain't what I came for." Beth soon set him straight.

"I heard you was planning another supply run for the morning, and I wanna go with you."

Rick sighed, and he was intending to refuse her, especially as he'd already invited Carl. But she sensed his reluctance and launched into an impassioned plea.

"I'm begging you, it's been weeks since I got outta this place and I'm going stir crazy. I won't get in your way, and I swear I won't ask again, but I just need to go this one time." She tried to persuade him.

He regarded her for a moment, and thought that she looked a little edgy.

"Is everything alright?" He questioned with concern.

"Yeah, I just wanna get outta here for a while, y'know?" Beth was quick to reassure him.

Rick was inclined to give in to her, especially when she pleadingly fixed her big blue eyes on him.

"No. I'm sorry but I already put the supply run team together, and I asked Carl. Maybe next time, okay?" He explained.

She looked devastated and he moved closer to comfort her, but she stepped away.

"Beth?" he was bewildered by her reaction.

She looked like she had something to say, and he waited but the words never came.

"How long will it be before the next run?" She finally asked.

"Next week, I should think." Rick took a step closer to her again but she excused herself and hurried away.

* * *

Hershel had been searching for his youngest daughter, and he found her crying alone in her cell. His heart was breaking for her, and he felt anger towards Rick, because as far as he was concerned, the former sheriff's deputy had treated her badly. He didn't know that they had been continuing their relationship, or at least the sexual side of it, in private.

"Bethy?" He hobbled over and sat down beside her.

She put her arms around him and wept against his shirt.

"Go on and let it all out." Her father said soothingly as he stroked her hair.

"Oh, daddy, I've been such a fool." Beth started to sob again.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. Maybe it was for the best that Rick ended things when he did, before you got in any deeper. I know it hurts now but you'll heal in time." He said.

"No, you don't understand." She said.

"Then what is it?" Her father could see that she looked terrified about something, and he was worried.

Beth could hardly bear to say it out loud, but she desperately needed to confide in someone. Her plan had been to get herself on the supply run, so that she could get what she needed. But Rick had thwarted her, and she hadn't been able to explain to him why she'd been so upset. If their relationship hadn't been reduced to mostly silent clandestine meetings for the sole purpose of having sex, then she might have felt able to open up to him. But as things stood, she didn't have a clue on how to proceed, and she had never felt her lack of life experience so keenly.

"Beth?" Her father pushed her for answers.

"I think I might be pregnant." She said in a quiet voice.

Hershel felt his blood run cold upon hearing those words, and he was unable to speak for a moment. The fear conjured up by the mere possibility alone was enough to shake him to the very core of his being.

"How late are you?" He finally managed to ask.

"A couple of weeks, I think. It's easy to lose track, it could be longer." She said between sobs.

"There could be many reasons for that, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. You're so thin these days, and I know you haven't always been eating your daily food rations. That could be the reason why you've stopped menstruating." Her father's rational medical mind kicked in, but he knew that they needed to find out for certain.

"I thought you and Rick were being careful." He said with disappointment.

"We were, least I thought we were. I was trusting him to know what was okay." Beth felt stupid over her naivety where sex and contraception were concerned.

"I see." Hershel tersely replied.

Her father determined that he was going to go directly to the man responsible and hold him to account for his actions.

"Dry those eyes, baby. We'll get through this together." He said as he gave her a reassuring hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Hershel left his daughter to get some rest and he hobbled out into the prison yard. He looked around for Rick and saw that he was still up in the remaining guard tower. He signalled to get his attention by waving his crutch in the air.

"Could you come down here for a minute, I need to speak with you." He requested knowing that the stairs would be a struggle for him.

The younger man was happy to oblige him and he soon appeared at the doorway, to be met by the old man's stern glare.

"What is it?" Rick inquired.

Hershel checked around to make sure they were alone before he replied.

"I hear you're going on another run in the morning. There's something you need to get a hold of, and we could use more than one, if possible." He said.

"Sure, just name it and I'll see what I can do." The younger man smiled.

"A pregnancy test." Hershel said pointedly.

Rick felt a bolt of fear go through him as he struggled to form a response.

"For who?" He asked although he already knew the answer.

"How could you be so careless, after Lori?" Hershel angrily asked.

Rick had no answer, he thought he'd been careful, but in the heat of moment he couldn't be sure. His sexual encounters with Beth had been pretty frenetic at times, and one slip up was all that was required. He cursed himself for being so reckless and indulging his own desires. There was no action that didn't lead to consequences of some kind, and he rebuked himself for never learning that lesson, although he'd been taught it enough times.

"The worst thing about all of this isn't even that you might have impregnated my daughter, but that I entrusted you with her in the first place. I wish I'd grabbed my shotgun and taken aim to turn you from a rooster to a hen back when I first had my suspicions about what you were up too. I gave the pair of you my blessing because I thought you were the best placed to protect her. I see now, when it's too late, what a fool I was."

Hershel hobbled away with so many mixed emotions, but the overriding one was guilt.


	16. Chapter 16

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 16

Beth kept trying to motivate herself to get on with her daily chores, but the weight of her worry was dragging her down. She was determined to avoid Rick and scurried out of sight when he returned to the cell block. She didn't know for sure that her father had spoken to him, but she suspected that he had. Beth was afraid of his reaction and she wasn't sure what to say to him. Rick appeared to be searching for someone, and she was sure that he was looking for her. It was difficult to keep evading him in such a relatively small space, and so she took the opportunity to slip outside when he was distracted.

It was a warm spring evening and Beth welcomed the dying light of the sun upon her face. She closed her eyes and imagined for a moment that she was back on the farm. It had been a long time since she'd thought about her old life, and in that instant she had never felt more like a prisoner. Beth walked towards the outer gate and had the strongest urge to carry on straight through it. But it was locked, she had no key, and it wasn't safe anyway. She just stood staring out at the woodland for a long while until a voice from behind startled her.

"I've been looking all over for you, what're you doing out here?" Rick asked.

The sound of his voice usually made her heart beat faster, but now it sank.

"I was just thinking, is all." Beth replied.

"About what?" He questioned.

"The farm and my life before all of this." She said wistfully.

She slowly turned around to face him.

Rick was filled with sorrow and guilt to see her looking so pale and melancholic. He knew that he had to bear the blame for that, as well as for her suspected pregnancy.

"I spoke to your dad; he told me that you might be, that is, you could be…Anyway, I'm gonna pick up some testing kits tomorrow, and we'll find out for sure." He explained.

Beth nodded, he was being so calm and reasonable but his eyes were full of care.

"Your dad hates me now." He said with regret.

"I'll speak to him." She promised

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Rick looked hurt and bewildered.

"You never wanna talk." She replied in an accusatory tone.

"You could've told me earlier. Is that why you wanted to go on the supply run?" He asked.

She nodded.

"But we've been careful, you can't be..." Rick raked a hand through his hair.

"It only takes one, right? I mean I was no genius in biology, but even I know that one egg plus one sperm equals a baby." Beth stated with clinical detachment.

"I can't believe this is happening again, after Lori..." He had a pained expression and there were tears in his eyes.

"We don't know that anything's happening, yet. I'm not even sure how late I am, I just know that I've never missed a period before." She reached out to try and comfort him.

Rick was unresponsive but he let her wrap him in a warm embrace. He knew that he had no one else to blame for his predicament, but himself.

"I'm sorry, for everything." He whispered against her hair.

She eased back from him so that she could look in his eyes.

"What do you mean by everything?" Beth asked fearfully.

"I've been weak, and given into my own selfish desires. If I'd had the strength to leave things well alone, then we wouldn't be in this mess now." Rick looked ashamed.

"I don't want you to be sorry, if I am carrying your child, then I don't want to think of our baby as a mistake, or a product of your weakness." She angrily responded.

"How else am I meant to feel about this? It's just about the worst thing that could happen." He was annoyed by her rebuke.

How could he ever regard getting her pregnant as being a good thing? He was certain that it could only ever be a monument to his folly, and a permanent reminder of what resulted from letting yourself be ruled by your sexual urges.

"Maybe you'd prefer it if I asked my daddy if there was something he could do about it, huh? I know he was a veterinarian, but maybe the technique ain't that different, when you need to get rid of something that's unwanted." She snapped.

"Are you talking about an abortion?" He questioned with disbelief.

"Ain't that what you want? Maybe then you can start pretending like we never happened, which you was doing a pretty good job of anyways, aside from the sex, until I had to go and spoil things." Beth raged.

Rick rubbed at his temple with exasperation, but he couldn't blame her for being upset. He never would have supported the suggestion of an abortion in his past life, but now? Childbirth could be a hazardous business at the best of times, and he didn't need another reminder of what happened when things went bad.

"You don't have to go through this alone; I don't walk away from my responsibilities." He assured her.

"You're a regular hero." She replied with bitterness.

"Let's just see what tomorrow brings, huh? I'll get the test, and then we'll take it from there." He said.

* * *

Rick kept a close eye on the road ahead as he drove the truck containing his son, Michonne and Tyreese towards the superstore. The surrounding area was suspiciously quiet with only the occasional small group of roamers. There had been no sighting of the massive walker herd for over two weeks now and that worried him. He would like to believe that they had somehow found their way to another place, far away from the prison. But experience had taught him never to be so optimistic.

He had tried to talk to Beth again before he'd set out on the run, but she had shut him down. He couldn't afford to let his mind get any more distracted than it already was, and so he let her be. They would know for sure if she was pregnant or not, once he completed his mission, and so he ploughed his energy into that.

"Okay, we're almost there, and I want one of us on watch at all times. We'll grab what we can, depending on how long we have, any sign of that herd and we high-tail it outta there." Rick said.

He pulled in as close as he could to the superstore and Michonne was assigned the first lookout duty.

Tyreese headed straight for the sections he knew from previous supply runs, and Rick directed Carl on what to look out for.

"Remember, just holler if you hit any kind of trouble, and I'll be right there." He assured his son.

He had his own agenda and he headed off in search of what he needed. If memory served him, he thought that such things were usually kept in the feminine hygiene department, and so he looked around it. Rick hoped that section hadn't already been looted, which he regarded as unlikely. It seemed he was the only person in need of pregnancy tests these days, he thought bitterly to himself. He cautiously advanced around the aisles until he found what he was searching for. He grabbed a handful and stopped to examine the instructions on one of the boxes.

"What you got there?" Carl suddenly appeared over the top of the shelving unit.

He had been stocking up on baby things for Judith and noticed his dad was on the next aisle over.

Rick tried to hide the box away before his son had a chance to see what it was, but he didn't succeed.

"Who's that for?" The boy questioned with suspicion.

"Hershel just asked me to get some things, is all." His father replied evasively.

"Is it for Beth?" Carl wouldn't let it go.

They stared at each other for a long moment but Rick didn't answer the question. His son let out a huff of anger as he turned and walked away.


	17. Chapter 17

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 17

Beth sat with Judith on her knee and she couldn't help but smile as the baby laughed at her. She pulled some funny faces and sang a few nursery rhymes, anything to take her mind off her troubles. But as she looked at the little girl, she found herself imagining what her child would look like. There was every chance that Rick wasn't Judith's biological father, and she studied her face for similarities. Beth could definitely see Lori in her, but other than that she might well be Shane's. Her mind started to run on unrestrained as she pictured herself holding her, and Rick's, baby.

"Bethy, have you eaten something today?" Her father hobbled into the cafeteria area with a look of concern on his face.

"Yes, daddy." She reassured him.

She seemed to be in good spirits and Hershel was glad to see her smiling.

"How're you feeling?" He inquired.

"I'm okay, I felt a little nauseous earlier, but I didn't get sick, and I feel fine now." Beth said.

"You know, there's still every chance that this is a false alarm, and you're not pregnant. Like I said yesterday, there could be all kinds of reasons why you missed your period." He was beginning to grow concerned that his daughter actually wanted to be carrying Rick's child.

"I know." She replied sharply.

"You're practically a mother to Judith as it is, and you know how much hard work taking care of one baby can be." Hershel was determined to bring her back down to earth.

Beth sighed, and wished that Rick would hurry up and get back with the test. The rational part of her brain knew that a negative result would be the best for everybody. But the bit that was prone to fantasising was already picturing herself as a mother.

"I'm so angry at Rick right now, but if you are pregnant then we're gonna need him onside." Her father had grudgingly returned to his previous pragmatism.

"He won't abandon me." She said with certainty.

Beth couldn't help being in love with Rick, even if he was determined to see the possible results of their coupling as a mistake. But she knew that if she was pregnant, he was an honourable man and he would stand by her. She couldn't blame him for the predominantly sexual nature of their recent encounters either, not when she'd wanted it as much as he had. She was hoping that they would go back to having a more rounded relationship in time, but had been willing to take what she could get. Beth began to feel afraid, and suddenly recalled the time she had berated Lori for getting pregnant. The memory stung, not only because of her present predicament, but because she had never even considered that it might happen to her. It was only when she realised her period was late, that the full gravity of the situation hit her.

"Daddy, I'm scared."

Beth realised that she was fearful of both being pregnant, and of not being. The former because of what had happened to Lori, and because it was such a huge responsibility on top of everything else. The latter worried her, because it would probably mean the end of her involvement with Rick. He surely wouldn't want to risk continuing their sexual relationship, in light of the potential hazards, she reasoned.

"We just have to trust that this is all part of God's plan, and that he never gives us more than we can handle." Hershel counselled.

* * *

The atmosphere in the truck on the drive back to the prison was strained, to say the least. Carl was furious with his father and the other's couldn't help but notice his attitude. Tyreese had gotten a little flirty with Michonne, and that hadn't been well received either, even if she wasn't entirely adverse to the idea. But she had built up such thick walls around her heart that it wasn't easy for her to let anyone inside. Rick could only think about Beth, and what the future might hold for their relationship. He had cleared the first hurdle, in procuring the pregnancy tests, and now he just needed to know the result. He was afraid to find out that she was carrying his baby, and unsure what he would do about continuing to be involved with her, if she wasn't.

Glenn and Maggie were on hand to open the prison gate as the truck passed through and parked up in the yard. Carl was the first one to get out and he threw his father a look of disgust before slinking away.

"What's the matter with him?" Maggie questioned as she went to help them unload their loot.

Rick just shrugged and looked around for any trace of Beth.

"Would you mind handling things here, I got something I need to do." He said and then went off to find her.

He entered the cell block, like a man preparing to take his final walk to the electric chair. Hershel saw him come in and Rick acknowledged him with a nod of his head.

"She's in her cell with Judith." The old man said.

The younger man continued on through the cafeteria area and down the row until he reached his destination. He peered through the bars to see that Beth had fallen asleep on the bunk with Judith safely cocooned next to her. His heart couldn't fail to be touched as he looked upon the peaceful scene of his lover and his daughter. She had taken on the maternal mantle willingly, and he wasn't sure he'd ever sufficiently expressed his gratitude to her for that. It was in that moment that he realised, Beth was already a mother to his child, and he wasn't going to let her go, no matter what. He crept over to them and carefully lifted Judith up to carry her over to her crib. The young blonde began to stir and she panicked at the absence of the baby, until she realised that Rick was there.

"Hey, sorry if I woke you." He knelt down and began to tenderly stroke her hair.

"That's okay, did you get it?" She asked.

He nodded and removed the box from his pocket.

Beth was trembling as she reached out to take it, but instead he grasped her hand in his.

"I need you to know, that whichever way, I'll be here for you, alright?" Rick assured her.

She nodded as tears began to fill her eyes.

"I just don't wanna lose you." Beth whispered as he pulled her into his arms.

"I ain't going nowhere. I'll stay here with Judith while you go do it." He promised as he handed her the package.

She took a deep breath and headed off to find somewhere that would afford her the privacy that she needed.

Carl saw Beth leaving the cell block and he secretly stalked her as she searched for a place to take the test. She settled on a spot behind one of the outer buildings that was secluded from everything but the walkers behind the fence. She listened to their hungry growls as she took the test from its packaging and prepared to do what was required. It was one line for not pregnant, or two lines for a positive result. She slowly lifted the wand up with her eyes clenched shut, and then holding her breath, she opened them.

"So am I gonna be a big brother again or not?"

Carl's voice startled Beth and she hurriedly adjusted her clothing then stood up to face him.

"What're you doing sneaking up on folks? You scared me half to death." She berated him.

"I only scared you half to death? I'll try harder next time." He said menacingly.

"Quit being a creep." Beth said as she pushed past him to head back to the cell block.

He jostled her and tried to make a grab for the test, but she fended him off.

"I gotta right to know." Carl angrily demanded.

"Just back off, you'll find out soon enough. I'm gonna speak with your dad first, he's waiting for me." Beth hurried on her way.

He stood glowering as he watched her go.

Rick was anxiously peering out from the cell doorway as he watched for her return. She came in with her head bowed and he couldn't make any immediate determination about the result.

"Well?" He asked as she went to sit down on her bed.

Beth handed him the test and then burst into tears.

"But this is good news, right? He hesitantly asked.

She didn't reply because it wasn't that she really wanted to be pregnant, despite the fantasies that had been playing out in her head. It was more that she was afraid of Rick dumping her now that he was under no obligation to maintain their relationship. He only seemed to want the sex side of things as it was, and now he might not even want that. She knew that she was capable of being more to him if he'd only take the chance and properly invest in them being a couple.

"Beth?" Rick knelt down beside her and took her hand in his.

"It's for the best, I know that." She replied between sobs.

"Then what're you crying for?" He asked as he reached to wipe away her tears.

Beth thought about trying to explain the way she felt, and how scared she was of losing him, but the words wouldn't come out.

"Maybe you should go talk to Carl. He saw me doing the test and he was really pissed when I wouldn't tell him the result. I'll take care of Judith." She dried her eyes and put on a business-as-usual facade.

Rick raked a hand through his hair, because he was not looking forward to having that conversation with his son. He decided that it could wait a while longer, and he wasn't done with Beth yet. He was relieved that she wasn't pregnant, but the scare had made him realise that he did love her, and he didn't want to be without her. He moved to stand beside her as she watched over Judith slumbering in her crib, and he put his arm around her waist.

"She's lucky to have you, and you've taken such good care of her. She'll never know Lori but she knows you, and I'm thankful for that. A mother ain't always the person who gives birth to you, sometimes she's the one who loves you, who's there for you and although she's not your blood, she's family." He said in a heartfelt way.

Beth was touched and his words started her tears flowing again. If he already saw her as a mother to his daughter, then maybe he did want more from her than just sex after all.

"I love her like she was my own, but I won't forget to honour Lori too. I intend to tell Judith how brave her momma was, and how she saved my life, and my daddy's." She said earnestly.

"We're done sneaking around, I'm gonna tell Carl that he's gonna have to get used to you being in our lives. He won't like it but that's just how it's gotta be." Rick was resolute.

He cupped her face in his hands and brought their lips together in a tender kiss.


	18. Chapter 18

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 18

Beth lay on her bunk unable to sleep, there was quite a storm raging outside and although they didn't normally frighten her, she felt unnerved by this one. The blue flashes of lightning intermittently illuminated the cell block and the rumbling thunder seemed to shake the walls. A few of the young children had been awoken by the noise and were crying, but Judith slept on undisturbed. Beth huddled down under her blankets and waited for the storm to pass. She wished that Rick was there so that she could take comfort in his embrace, but he was still sharing a cell with Carl. Their father and son talk hadn't exactly gone well, but at least they'd both had the chance to get everything out in the open, and to air their grievances.

It had been quite a day, all things considered, and Beth had taken the opportunity to have a heart to heart with her father. She had explained about how things were between her and Rick, even though she left out some of the finer details, especially in regards to their sex life. Hershel had been relieved to discover that his youngest daughter wasn't pregnant, and was willing to give the former-sheriff's deputy another chance. Beth contemplated the storm and how it was nature's way of clearing the air; it didn't seem so scary when she thought about it like that. She closed her eyes and soon drifted off to sleep.

The morning came with a soft kiss, as Beth was awoken by Rick; he wanted to see her before he went on watch duty.

"I'm gonna ask Michonne if she'll spend a little time with you, to give you some weapons training. I can help you with your gun target practice, but you really ain't that bad a shot. You know I'll always do my best to protect you, but it wouldn't hurt for you to learn a few defensive skills. What d'you think?" He asked.

"I think that's a great idea." She beamed and kissed him back with enthusiasm.

"Will it turn you on to see me pulling some ninja moves?" She playfully asked.

"Better not excite me too much, I'm an old guy, remember?" He joked.

"Yeah, you're old as dirt, Rick Grimes." She teased.

They both laughed and made out some more until Judith woke up, which put an abrupt end to their horseplay.

"Come find me after breakfast, and we'll make a start on that training, okay?" He said.

"Yes, Sir." Beth gave him a mock salute.

She was actually quite thrilled at the prospect of learning some new skills, and with the faith that Rick was placing in her. It made sense for her to do everything she could to be able to fight and defend herself as competently as possible. She had always felt more at ease with the domestic tasks, but if she was going to be a true partner to their leader, then maybe she needed to be able to kill walkers as easily as she could change diapers.

* * *

"Your girlfriend's late." Michonne was unimpressed.

She had agreed to train Beth as a favour to Rick, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about it.

"She'll be here." He said with a degree of uncertainty as he craned his neck to try and catch sight of her.

A few moments later the young blonde came bounding across the prison yard to join them.

"Sorry I kept you waiting, but Judith got sick all over my shirt and I had to go change." Beth explained as she breezed in with a smile.

"Is she okay?" Rick questioned with concern.

"Oh, yeah, she's just fine. You know the way she chugs down her milk; she just got a bad case of hiccups is all." She explained.

"I'm sorry, is this a mom's club meeting, or are we actually gonna do some weapons training?" Michonne huffed sarcastically.

Beth blushed and apologised as she was handed a machete, which looked comically large in her small hands.

"I wanna see what you can do first. Follow me." The other woman brusquely instructed her.

She nervously hurried after Michonne, as Rick gave her a smile of reassurance before he headed back on watch duty. The other woman led her to the far end of the prison grounds, where the van which had been abandoned by the Governor's men, was now parked. She gave the young blonde a scrutinising look, and then went to release the metal grill at the back of the vehicle.

"I prepared a little something for you, they can't bite or scratch you so don't worry about that. But don't look at them as non-threatening; see them as something that wants to kill you, and everyone you love, okay?" Michonne instructed her.

Beth could hear growling and she was afraid of what was about to be unleashed upon her. But she trusted in what she had been told, and so she nodded as the other woman beckoned her to come closer. She walked towards the back of the van and took a sharp intake of breath as three walkers lumbered out. They were missing their arms and their jaws had been cut away, along with their teeth. Beth recoiled in horror at the sight of them and she tried to get a better grip on the machete, but ended up dropping it. She scrambled to pick it up and caught Michonne rolling her eyes, as if she'd been expecting her to fail. It helped spur the young blonde on, and she set her sights on the walker closest to her. Beth drew back the machete and swung it with all the force she could muster at its head. The other two were on her before the first one had even hit the ground, but she swung the blade again, and then pulled it back for a final strike. Michonne struggled to hide her surprise as three vanquished walkers lay at her feet.

"They're a lot easier to kill when they've had all their danger zones removed." She said dismissively.

Beth was still able to feel quite pleased with her handy work, and she wiped away the blood splatter from her face with her sleeves.

"Guess there's worse things to get on your shirt than baby sick, after all." She joked.

"We're gonna need to build up your body strength and stamina." Michonne kept focused on her task, and set the young blonde a tough exercise regime.

Rick kept sneaking a peek at the training session through his binoculars, and he couldn't help a grin from spreading across his face at his girlfriend's success. It wasn't much in the grand scheme of things, but it was a start, and Beth was a lot tougher than she got credit for.

* * *

"I got aches in places I didn't even know I had muscles."

Beth complained to Rick as she started to undress to get ready for bed.

"I was real proud of you today." He said as he helped unhook her bra.

She turned around to give him a beaming smile as she popped his shirt open and pressed her naked torso against his.

"I can't stay." Rick weakly protested.

"Not all night, I know. But Carol's on watch, and Carl is watching over Judith, so we got some time." Beth kissed him.

He didn't put up a fight and he eased her back against the bunk as he worked on removing her pants. She returned the favour and then rolled him over so that she could straddle him.

"I'm gonna ride you like a Harley on a bad piece of road." She drawled.

"What?" Rick laughed.

Beth giggled as she kissed and gently nipped at his chest.

"I think I heard that line in a movie or something, but I'm so gonna." She promised.

"I thought you were all achy?" He playfully asked.

"Michonne says I need to build up my stamina, so just lie back and think of it as contributing to my training." Beth said as she adjusted her position.

"Happy to help." Rick said with a grin.


	19. Chapter 19

**Many apologies for the long delay in updating, but life's been pretty hectic lately. I hope I won't get waylaid too much in future, but it is the school summer holidays, so please be patient if it takes me a couple of weeks between chapters. I hope to get back on track as soon as possible. Thanks again to everyone who is reading this fic, and please leave a review if you have the time. - Mrs P.**

* * *

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 19

Rick drew up a more frequent timetable for supply runs, so that they could capitalise on the relatively quiet period of walker activity. He felt an underlying uneasiness about it, and was waiting for all hell to break loose again, as it surely would. But in the meantime, they had mouths to feed, and it was prudent that they should take what they could from places like the superstore, before someone else beat them to it. Daryl had led the last run, and now it was Rick's turn to assemble a small team. He had already promised to take Carl, and found Tyreese to be a reliable deputy, but he needed at least one more person. Beth had been doing very well with her training, and he decided to ask her to accompany them. He knew his son wouldn't be happy, but he hoped that by pulling together they could work through their differences.

They set out in the truck with Tyreese in the passenger seat next to Rick, and Carl on the back seat with Beth. The boy said nothing but he alternated between throwing scornful looks at his dad and the blonde at his side. The other three engaged in friendly conversation, and Rick was particularly interested in hearing stories from Tyreese's sporting past. Carl suddenly let out an exasperated sigh, which drew his father's attention.

"You got something you wanna say?" He asked his son.

The boy just scowled and made no other reply.

"Maybe he's just not much of a football fan." Tyreese joked.

"I used to be, I used to be a lotta things before all this." Carl said.

"We always watched the Falcons games on TV, even talked about going to the Georgia Dome sometime." Rick reminisced.

"But it's all gone now, and the Falcons are probably dead, just like everyone else you keep talking about." The boy said in an impatient tone.

"That don't mean we have to forget about them." Beth chimed in.

"Why not? You and dad seem to have forgotten all about my mom." He bitterly said.

"You know that ain't true." She argued.

"We talked about this; I'll forget my own name before I forget about your mom." Rick stated with certainty.

Beth was discomforted by the accusation and she exchanged an awkward glance with Rick. She was beginning to wish that she had turned down the invitation to accompany him on this run. They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the journey.

* * *

Beth started to search through her designated aisles and grabbed everything that might be of use. She was in personal need of sanitary products and had discretely mentioned the fact to Rick, so that he would know which section to allocate her. They had dispatched a few lurkers around the entrance to the superstore, but hadn't encountered any on the inside. Beth was filling her bag with boxes of tampons when she heard a rustling noise from somewhere up ahead. She quietly placed her backpack on the floor and reached for her knife as she cautiously crept down the aisle. The fidgeting sound stopped as she advanced on it, but then she saw someone dart out ahead of her, and dive behind a display unit. It definitely wasn't a walker, she reasoned, because of the fast movement, and they usually attacked once they caught the scent of living flesh.

"I see you behind there. Show yourself now." Beth demanded as she drew her pistol.

She could hear shallow breathing, and then suddenly, a young, handsome, well-built man with unruly dark brown hair emerged from behind the unit.

"Don't shoot, I ain't gonna hurt you." He said as he raised his hands in surrender.

"Don't come any closer." She warned him.

He gave her a smile that she was certain was intended to charm her, but it didn't work.

"Being held at gunpoint by a pretty blonde, I ain't sure whether I'm dreaming." He said with a glint in his eye.

"I could always shoot you, and then you'd know for sure." Beth offered.

Carl came bounding down the aisle towards them with his gun drawn.

"Who are you?" He questioned the young man.

"I was just looking for something to eat, is all." The man replied as his demeanour changed to project a more pitiful state.

"In the feminine hygiene department?" Beth was suspicious.

"What's going on?" Rick came sprinting over to them.

The young man maintained his submissive stance as the other's eyed him warily.

"My name's Jonah, I'm just here to get what I can scavenge, just like y'all." He explained.

Rick frisked him for weapons, finding only a large hunting knife, and took his backpack.

"Are you alone?" The former-sheriff's-deputy questioned him.

"Yeah, I used to be part of a group, but they got picked off one by one, now it's just me." Jonah said.

Tyreese joined the rest of the group and he nodded along with sadness as he recalled the loss of his previous large group.

"That happens." He said.

"How long you been on your own?" Rick asked.

"A couple a weeks, it was just me and Taylor, but then she... Now it's just me." Jonah blinked back his tears.

"Was she family?" Tyreese questioned.

"I guess, I mean we weren't married or nothing, like that matters these days, but she was the world to me, y'now?" The young man explained.

"Where were y'all from?" Rick questioned.

"Macon, originally, and I was holed up there with some friends and family, until that all went to hell. Those of us who got out hit the road, and we pretty much kept on moving around after that. We would join up with other small groups along the way, and take shelter wherever we could. But the folks you meet ain't always kindly, and the dead just keep on coming." Jonah explained.

"You made it this far though." Tyreese threw him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, I never thought I'd be the last man standing, I guess I won't last long though, not out there alone." The young man said pitifully.

Rick appraised the situation and made a snap decision.

"We got a larger group, at a safe location, there's a place for you, if you wanna join us?" He offered.

"Oh my God, thank you. This ain't a world to be on your own in." Jonah happily accepted.

Rick might have felt an increased burden of responsibility since the former Woodbury residents came to live at the prison, but he was still convinced that he was right to bring them there. Now there was someone else who needed his help, and he wasn't going to just walk on by.

Carl wasn't happy with his father offering to take in yet another stray, and he let out a huff of dismay to make his feelings clear.

Rick turned to Tyreese, and he could see that he was on board with taking the young man in. Beth looked more uncertain though, and that concerned him, because she had always supported his previous actions. She said that it was their Christian duty to help others in need, but now she didn't look so sure. He tasked his deputy with watching over their new recruit while he hung back to talk to his son and girlfriend.

"He's right; this ain't a world to be alone in, not anymore." Rick said.

"You're doing what you did before, with the people from Woodbury, just deciding for everybody." Carl argued.

"You wanna take a vote? If we leave him here, he might die." His father reasoned.

"We've left people to die before, why's it different now?" The boy asked.

"He needs help and we're in a position to offer it to him. It's kinda straightforward when you look at it like that." Rick explained.

Carl gave out an exasperated sigh, and realising the futility of arguing, went back to his designated section.

"Beth, you got something to say?" He asked as he saw that something was obviously bothering her.

"It ain't that I think you're wrong, but something don't feel right about this. I don't even know why, but I got a bad feeling." She tried to explain.

"Women's intuition, huh?" Rick said in a somewhat patronising manner which annoyed her.

"But then again, he is kinda hot, and it would be a shame if he got eaten." She said provocatively.

The former sheriff's deputy frowned, but then realised it was just her way of getting back at him, so he gave her a smirk of acknowledgement.

"Don't worry; I'll be keeping a close eye on him." Rick reassured her.

"Yeah, me too." Beth joked and they both laughed.


	20. Chapter 20

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 20

Beth and Carl made room on the back seat of the truck for the newest member of their group.

Rick was subtly trying to find out more about Jonah by getting him talking about himself, and his life before the dead started coming back. But the young man was playing his cards close to his chest, and wasn't giving much away.

"You said you'd been on your own for a couple a weeks, right? So you ain't met up with

any other folks around here, besides us?" The former-sheriff's deputy questioned.

"No, no one with a pulse, at least." Jonah quipped.

He knew what the older man was up to, and had his own reasons for not wanting to say too much about himself. A person didn't survive for this long in the world they now inhabited without doing some things they would rather not discuss. The only thing Jonah could think to do was to try and steer the conversation in a different direction.

"So this safe haven you got, what is it, a gated community or something?" He asked.

"Kinda." Rick said.

"Seen a few of them on my travels, most of 'em don't last long though." The young man said.

"Oh, why's that?" Tyreese inquired.

"Lotsa reasons, but mostly they're just not secure enough, and end up getting overrun by the dead sooner or later." Jonah shrugged wearily.

"We reclaimed our place from the dead, and they ain't taking it back." Rick said with conviction.

The young man just smiled in reply, but it was clear from the expression on his face that he didn't share the former-deputy's confidence.

They neared their destination and Jonah's eyes widened in surprise.

"A prison?" He exclaimed.

"The fences keep the walkers out, and it's about as safe a place as you're gonna find in this crazy world." Tyreese assured him.

Carl scowled at the young man and let out an impatient sigh. He hated being sat between the stranger and Beth. They passed through the first gate, which was opened by Maggie and Glenn. The young couple were astonished to see an unfamiliar passenger in the truck, and they both gave questioning looks to their leader, but he gave them no response.

"This is a real safe place, see that cemetery over there? The dead stay that way." Carl pointed the site out to Jonah.

"Sure, it's getting a little crowded, but just so you know, only three of them were killed by walkers." He said in a menacing tone that earned him a frown from his father.

* * *

The whole prison group were chattering about the new arrival and were all eager to get a good look at him. Jonah was being very charming and obliging, and he wasted no time in introducing himself to everyone. He claimed to have good hunting skills and was soon talking himself up to Daryl. The older man was sceptical, but he had to grudgingly admit it would be useful to have someone else in their number who could track and snare wild prey.

Beth volunteered to show the newcomer around. She still wasn't sure about him, but she could see that it was important to Rick that it should all work out. He was building Jonah up as a potential asset to the group, with so many elderly folks and kids to care for; they needed all the help they could get. The others could see the sense of it even if a few people resented having someone else thrust upon them without any say in the matter. It still felt like they were getting accustomed to being part of a larger group, and now they had to get to know another stranger. Rick had invested so much in trying to build a community, and he had little patience for dissenters. He talked of democracy, but like many leaders before him, he had got too used to doing things his own way.

"It'd be good if we got a say in these things, y'know, like you promised." Maggie was still bristling over it.

"Hey, at least it was only one guy this time, right? Not a whole busload." Glenn quipped.

The former-sheriff's deputy rolled his eyes impatiently in their direction.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. Maggie, I know you remember that, and I know you remember the last time you said it to me. Rick was right to offer the hand of friendship to that young man; you know that too, in your heart." Hershel said.

"Just as long as he don't end up biting the hand that feeds him, huh?" His eldest daughter was still sceptical.

"I'll take the kid out tomorrow, maybe, see what he can do." Daryl said as he sharpened his knife.

"Ain't nobody can take Merle's place, but havin' a huntin' partner sure could be useful; we'd catch more food for one thing."

Rick nodded and hoped that the faith he was placing in the newcomer wouldn't prove to be misplaced.

* * *

Beth finished showing Jonah around the prison and began walking him back to the main cell block. She still felt a little uneasy around him, but he did appear to be a normal twenty-two year old male, on the surface at least. He was flirty and made a joke out of everything, but she had the sense that he was trying a little too hard.

"You gotta a lotta old folks here, and kids, not many people around our age." He observed.

"How old are you anyways?" He asked as he gave her a leering look.

"How's that any of your business?" Beth snapped.

"I guess it ain't, I was just hoping that after being stuck here with all these old guys, you might've been glad you found me." Jonah flashed a charming smile in her direction.

"I thought you were mourning your lost love." She questioned recalling his earlier mention of a dead girlfriend.

"Ain't nobody got time for that, not in this world." He said as if her allusion to sentiment was ridiculous.

Beth gave him a disapproving stare and then quickened her pace to hasten them both back to the cell block.

"Hey, I sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." Jonah reached out to grab her arm and slow her down.

She stopped and turned back to face him.

"I'm with Rick. You should know that because it'll save you thinking that you got any right to lay your hands on me." She said pointedly as he drew back from her.

Jonah broke into a wide grin.

"Duly noted." He said.

He looked her up and down and then whistled.

"I used to watch wildlife shows all the time, with lions and bears, y'know the sort of thing? The smart females always know that they need to get with the alpha male; he's where it's at, for protection, strong offspring and all of that. Well, ain't you just full of surprises?" He laughed.

Beth sighed with exasperation.

"Anyways, I guess it was just a bit of a shock to me; seeing so many old folks and kids here. I mean, most of the other groups I've met on the road didn't have time for either, they're considered too much of a burden, I suppose." Jonah said as he tried to change the subject.

"We took them in because it was the right thing to do, same reason we offered you a helping hand. We've been building a community here, we take care of each other, and we all do our part." She explained.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I think what y'all have done here is great, but it can't be easy is all." Jonah said.

"It ain't been, and we've had plenty of setbacks, but I think we're finally starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel." Beth smiled.

"Just so long as it ain't a train, huh?" The young man quipped.

They reached the entrance to the main cell block and were about to go inside, when Jonah came to a sudden halt bringing them both to a standstill.

"I counted the graves out there, and if only three of them were killed by walkers, how did the rest die?" He questioned.

Beth fidgeted and began to look uncomfortable.

"One of the old guys who was here with us had a weak heart, and Rick's wife, Lori, died in childbirth." She hesitantly replied.

"What about the rest?" Jonah was persistent.

Beth was thinking about what she should say when Rick appeared in the doorway, and she took the opportunity to extricate herself from the situation. The young man watched them walk away, and then he smiled to himself. He thought again about alpha males, and how they all eventually have to make way for fresh blood. The natural order of things might have been thrown off kilter somewhat in recent times, but he was sure that law still held true.


	21. Chapter 21

**Apologies again for the slow pace of updates, but I'm still in the thick of the school summer holidays. Hopefully normal service will be resumed again in September. This chapter includes a song that Hershel asked Beth to sing in the first episode of season 3, Seed. I hope I have used the correct one because it was the only traditional Irish song I could find in relation to the name, Paddy Reilly. If anyone else knows better, then please do let me know. Thank you to everyone taking the time to read this fic and leave a review, it's much appreciated. - Mrs P.**

* * *

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 21

Beth sat in the cafeteria with Judith on her knee; the baby was particularly clingy to her since she'd returned from the supply run. Hershel mentioned that she had been fussy all day, but he'd checked her over and she didn't appear to be sick. His memory on such matters was patchy, but he seemed to recall that babies went through a separation anxiety phase. He did recall his youngest daughter at that age, screaming non-stop whenever Annette was out of sight.

"Daryl tried singing a lullaby to settle her down for her nap, but she was having none of it," her father explained.

"Daryl sang?" Beth questioned in disbelief.

Hershel chuckled.

"Well, it was more of a soft growl, but he tried," he said.

"Aw, Judy just missed me, is all. Look, she's happy as can be right now," the young blond smiled as the baby fiddled with her hair.

"Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma..." Judith babbled.

"Did you hear that? Is she calling me mama?" Beth was shocked.

Rick entered the cafeteria to fill up his water bottle, and he heard the whole thing. He found himself getting a little choked up as he thought about Lori. It was perfectly natural that his daughter would respond to Beth the way she did, but he couldn't help thinking about the birth mother she would never know. He recalled what Carl had said earlier that day, about him forgetting all about Lori, and it stung. He tried to slip back outside before he was noticed, so that he could continue his moment of private contemplation, but the young blond saw and hurried after him with Judith in her arms.

"Rick, please wait," she called out.

He reluctantly slowed his pace to let her catch up.

"I haven't been teaching Judy to call me mama; she just kinda came out with it. I mean, I know you said before that I was like a mother to her, but I would never just presume that you'd be okay with it. I don't think Carl would like it, either way," Beth frantically tried to explain when she saw the troubled look on his face.

Rick sighed and gave her a reassuring smile as he tenderly stroked her cheek.

"It's alright," he said as he took his daughter into his arms.

"Before Carl was born, Lori got all these books on parenting, and we watched a whole bunch of TV shows, of course, we still didn't have a clue what the hell we were doing when he actually arrived. But I do remember that most babies make that mama sound first, because it's the easiest for them to vocalise, or something," he explained.

"Oh, okay, makes sense I guess," Beth felt relieved but also slightly disappointed, despite her earlier protestations.

It wasn't that she didn't want Judith to call her mama, but she wanted Rick to be okay with it first. She waited for him to say something more on the matter, and to maybe give his approval, but he didn't. He excused himself instead, and handed his daughter back to Beth so he could return to watch duty.

Carl was waiting for him when he got back to the guard tower. The boy was nonchalantly leaning against the railings as if he didn't care that he had company, but he threw his dad a quick glance of acknowledgement.

"What you said earlier, that I'd forgotten all about your mom, you know it ain't true, right?" Rick asked as he broke the silence between them.

Carl scowled and kept staring ahead, but he didn't reply.

"Y'know, just because I made the choice to let another woman into my life, it don't mean I don't think about your mom every single day. How could I not, when I see her every time I look at you, or Judith? She's always with me," he explained.

"If that's true, then how can you be with Beth?" His son asked with incredulity.

"It ain't about choosing one over the other; I got room in my heart for both of them. Your mom didn't stop loving me when she thought I was dead, even though she went with Shane. I can see that now, and I guess I knew it anyway. No matter how much I wish I could change what happened between us, I can't. I will love your mom until I take my final breath, but I love Beth too, and I hope someday you'll be able to accept that," Rick gave his boy a hopeful look.

"And what if I can't?" Carl questioned.

"Then I guess you'll be heaping a whole lotta unhappiness on yourself, and on the rest of us too. Is that really what you want, when there's more than enough misery to go around as it is?" He wished that his son would see sense.

"If that's how it's gotta be," the boy was resolute and his father's heart sank once again.

* * *

Jonah spent his first week at the prison working on making himself indispensable to the rest of the group. Nothing was too much trouble for him, and he went out of his way to be helpful with any small job that needed doing. He soon realised that the prison could be a sweet long-term refuge, if he could only get rid of the deadwood they were carrying. There was no room for sentiment; he had learnt that the hard way during his time on the road. If a person wanted to survive, they had to be willing to make the tough calls, and he was. It was only common sense to realise that the supplies they scavenged from the ruins of civilisation wouldn't last forever, and as far as he was concerned, they were back to survival of the fittest.

The claim Jonah made about being a decent hunter paid off, when he caught a couple of deer on his first time out with Daryl. The young man was seeking to ingratiate himself with the older hunter, and it was working as they went out together most days. Jonah spent the rest of his time subtly manipulating the discontented folks within the group. He figured that the more people he could get to question their current living arrangements; the easier it would be to do something about it. He was preparing for another hunting trip with Daryl, when Rick entered the cell block and strode over to them with urgency.

"Michonne's gone out into the woods with Tyreese and Sasha. She says she saw someone watching the prison, and there's a car alarm going off somewhere out there too," he explained.

"You think it could be him again?" Daryl asked in reference to the Governor.

"Maybe one of his men, but we need to find out for sure." Rick said as he grabbed his rifle.

"Damn straight. If that one-eyed dick is back on the scene, I got something for that other eye of his."

The hunter slung his crossbow over his shoulder and signalled for Jonah to follow him.

They made their way behind the treeline and cautiously moved deeper into the woods. There was a rustling sound up ahead and Daryl readied his crossbow. Sasha suddenly ran into view and upon seeing the others, she shouted out a warning.

"Walkers. Run."

Michonne and Tyreese appeared with their weapons drawn and bloodied as they all made their way back to the prison.

"What the hell?" Daryl questioned once they were safely through the first gate.

Sasha pointed back towards the woods as a horde of walkers began to shamble towards them.

"We got a ways in, close to the road, and that's when we saw them, they must have been drawn in by the sound of the car alarm," she explained.

"You managed to get to the car and turn it off?" Rick asked because it was no longer audible.

"No, the battery musta died." Tyreese said.

"What about that guy you were chasing, did you find him?" Daryl asked Michonne.

She shook her head.

The side of the prison perimeter fence that was closest to the woods was fast filling up with walkers. They growled and clawed at the wire in greater numbers than ever before, which made the place seem a lot less secure. The group made a start on thinning them out before a threatened breach could be made.

"This has gotta be the Governor's handy work," Daryl said angrily as he plunged his knife into another skull.

"Who the hell is this Governor guy, anyway?" Jonah questioned.

He was perturbed by this unexpected turn of events, but he needed to find out if there was any way to turn it to his advantage. He reasoned that the threat from outsiders could be exploited to help him plant further seeds of discontent within the group. The fences had a few weak spots, and he imagined that it wouldn't take much to rig things up so that some walkers could push through. It would be a risky business, but a manufactured walker attack was one way of picking off the weaker prison dwellers.

Jonah could see that Rick was a good man, and his vision for maintaining their little oasis in the wilderness was an honourable one. But this world didn't belong to men like him anymore, it never really had, and he knew he had to make sure everyone realised that.

* * *

The able members of the group worked through the night to get the walker numbers down to more manageable levels. There seemed to be a steady stream of them coming out of the woods, and Rick led a small party out at first light to investigate the surrounding area. They couldn't find any more evidence of foul play, other than the car that had been abandoned on the road. He wondered if the huge herd they had been tracking before was on its way through, and if the sudden increase in walkers were merely pilot fish for a larger threat. He contemplated the same thing about the mystery man Michonne had spotted, and the person he was likely working for. Rick cursed himself again for not killing the Governor when he had the chance. There was no telling what horrors he had in store for them next, and they were on the back foot from the get go by not having any clue where he was holed up, or who he was with. A quick sweep of Woodbury hadn't yielded any clues, the place was overrun with walkers, and they were still no closer to finding the Governor.

The events of the previous day had proven to be very unsettling for the prison inhabitants, and although they had mostly returned to their regular duties, something in the atmosphere had changed. They all felt it, and it had the effect of making everyone edgy, the younger and older members of the group particularly so. Hershel was doing his best to keep them calm and he selected reassuring bible passages to read aloud, but they didn't seem to be doing much good. He noticed that folks weren't really listening as they chatted nervously amongst themselves, and so he beckoned his youngest daughter over to him.

"Bethy, sing Paddy Reilly for me, please," he begged.

Her eyes filled with tears as she recalled the way her mother would always round off a family get together by singing that song. Hershel saw the sadness that her memories had invoked, but still he pressed his case once more.

"Your momma loved that song, mostly because she knew how much it meant to me. Sing it just this once for me, and I'll never ask for it again," he pleaded.

Hershel was feeling melancholy, despite his attempts to lift the spirits of the rest of the group. A private nagging fear told him that they wouldn't have too many more nights like this, with their loved ones gathered near, and he wanted to hear that song, even if it was for the last time.

Beth dabbed at her eyes with the corner of her blouse, she took a deep breath and then nodded to her father. She smiled in a sad way as her sister, Glenn and Rick came back into the cell block and they took a seat as she prepared to sing.

"I'm dedicating this song to my momma, Annette Greene, she sang it more beautifully than I ever will, but for her, and for everyone else I love, here goes..."

_The Garden of Eden has vanished, they say_

_But I know the lie of it still;_

_Just turn to the left at the bridge of Finea_

_And stop when half way to Cootehill._

'_Tis there I will find it,_

_I know sure enough_

_When fortune has come to my call,_

_Oh, the grass it is green around Ballyjamesduff_

_And the blue sky is over it all._

_And the tones that are tender and tones that are gruff_

_Are whispering over the sea,_

"_Come back, Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff_

_Come home, Paddy Reilly, to me."_

__

My mother once told me that when I was born

_The day that I saw the first light,_

_I looked down the street on that very first morn_

_And gave a great crow of delight._

_Now most newborn babies appear in a huff,_

_And start with a sorrowful squall,_

_But I knew I was born in Ballyjamesduff_

_And that's why I smiled on them all._

_The baby's a man, now he's toil-worn and tough_

_Still, whispers come over the sea,_

"_Come back, Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff_

_Come home, Paddy Reilly, to me."_

__

[Come Back Paddy Reilly To Ballyjamesduff by Percy French.]


	22. Chapter 22

**I think it's fair to say that this chapter is the (relative) calm before the storm... Thanks again to everyone reading and reviewing. - Mrs P.**

* * *

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 22

"We're not abandoning the prison; so long as everyone's clear on that, we can decide what we're gonna do next." Rick was steadfast in the face of the discontented rabble.

"We gotta find the Governor, and kill him,"

Michonne was clear about what was top of her agenda. She was filled with rage over what he'd done to Andrea, and all the lost chances to end him continued to rankle at her.

"We can't just sit here, waitin' for him to come to us. We gotta know what we're dealin' with, 'cause we ain't got the guns or the ammo for a war," Daryl argued.

"I can make another run, get more of both," Rick thought about Morgan.

"That worked last time, but we don't know who the Governor's with now, or what kinda weaponry they got," Maggie countered.

"Maybe we should forget about hunting the Governor down, and start looking for somewhere else to live, instead," she said as she looked to Glenn for support.

The rest of the group argued amongst themselves, with alliances forming over some things, but there was no overall consensus.

Jonah listened to the bickering with mounting frustration, he wanted to take the prison for himself but he didn't want to lose all the young, strong and useful people. He decided that he would have to help them track down this Governor person. It could be an opportunity to wipe out two alpha males in one fell swoop, but he had to find out what they were up against.

Rick rubbed at his temple as he contemplated their options; he could see the sense of everything that was being argued for, but hitting the road in search of a new sanctuary with so many vulnerable folks to care for, definitely had to be the last resort. He glanced over at Beth, holding onto his daughter, then at Carl, and he couldn't stand to think of losing any one of them. They had some food stored up, but it was getting harder to get hold of fuel and they wouldn't get far without it.

"Michonne, you wanna put together a small scouting party, and go see what you can find? Though, it'll probably be like looking for a needle in a haystack," he warned.

She nodded and turned to Daryl, who was more than ready for the mission. They joined forces with Tyreese and Jonah and began their quest without delay.

Maggie continued to press her case with her nearest and dearest, but none of them were rushing to back her up. Beth moved to stand directly next to Rick in a show of unity; she had already decided that whatever happened, she would not forsake him. She stood proudly by his side and directed her fiercest glare at those who dared to throw accusatory glances in his direction.

"We should at least see if there's any place out there that we could go to, y'know, if we had too," Maggie appealed directly to their leader.

"We've pretty much covered all the ground around here during the supply runs. We'd have to push farther out, and from everything we know about the surrounding areas, there are no places," Rick said.

He knew, in his heart, that they would probably end up running for their lives again one day, they'd never really stopped. But he couldn't see his daughter, or any of the weaker members of the group, surviving for long on the road, and that was unacceptable to him. He sighed as he thought about what happened with the farm, and he was sure that Maggie, Hershel and even Beth, were thinking the same thing.

"If you, or anyone else, wants to leave, I ain't gonna stop you, but we ain't got the fuel for sight-seeing. If you go, you're gonna have to keep on going until you find what you're looking for, or until someone or something finds you," he said with a weariness he made no attempt to disguise.

* * *

Beth wrung out the washcloth and gently began to wipe the blood splatter from Rick's face. He had been attempting to clear the tombs of walkers, but too many were pouring in through the breach. The threat was still manageable, but barely, and with Michonne, Daryl, Tyreese and Jonah out looking for the Governor, they were short on competent fighters. Rick thought again about what had been said earlier that day, and tried to push away the creeping despair he felt.

"We'll get through this," Beth said.

She noted his pained expression and her voice came out as uncertain as she felt inside, even though she was trying to project confidence. They had come through so much together, it seemed inconceivable that everything they had worked so hard to build, could crumble away so easily.

"Have you talked to Maggie again?" Rick asked as she tenderly washed the dried blood from his hair.

Beth shrugged noncommittally and continued in her task. She didn't want to tell him how her sister had begged her to consider leaving the prison, and Rick if needs be. Maggie privately disclosed, as she had once before, that she didn't want to lose those she loved, or her own life, by risking everything to save the prison and its population. There had been mention of returning to the farm to see if anything could be salvaged there. Beth didn't want to admit how much she longed to see the old place for just one more time, even if common sense told her it was better left as a memory. You can't go home again, she thought sadly, as tears filled her eyes.

"Beth?" Rick saw her distress and sought to comfort her.

"If Maggie and Glenn want to leave, that's up to them, but I ain't going nowhere without you, Carl and Judith," she said.

"I hope we'll have a better idea of what we're up against when Daryl, Michonne and the others return. We can see there are more walkers around, but whether that big herd is heading back this way, we don't yet know," he explained.

"I gotta be honest though, if they come at us in the kinda numbers we saw back on the highway, then the prison fences won't hold up against them for long. We don't even know what to expect from the Governor, if he is back on the scene. We got lucky both times, when we went up against him before, but something tells me he won't make the same mistakes again. He didn't hesitate in slaughtering his own people, and he sure as hell won't think twice about killing every man, woman and child here, if he gets the chance," Rick sighed as his fears threatened to overwhelm him.

There was no end to the torment, and if anything it was worse this time around, because now they had tasted hope. They had dared to start believing that it was possible to claw back some semblance of civilisation, and to rediscover a sense of community. The hardest part of it was realising how fragile things were, and how quickly they could unravel with only the slightest tug on the thin thread that held everything together.

Beth finished patting Rick's hair dry with the towel and then she wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her onto his lap and they just sat holding onto each other in silent contemplation. She wanted to urge him to flee with her and his children, and to keep on driving until all this was but a distant memory. But she knew she could never leave her father, and her conscience would no sooner allow her to turn her back on the others, than Rick's would let him.

They would prepare as best they could, and they would keep working together to clear the backlog of walkers. Beth determined she'd find a quiet moment alone with her father and sister, if Maggie was willing, to pray to God for him to spare them. She brushed her lips softly over Rick's and ran her fingers through his damp hair.

"I ain't gonna lose you, and we ain't losing what we've built here. There ain't nobody, living or dead, who can take this away from us," she vowed as if she had the power to prevent it.


	23. Chapter 23

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 23

Rick leaned against the guard tower rail as he scanned the immediate area for any trace of the scouting party. The light was fading fast and the dusk air was filled with the sounds of walker's growls as they began to congregate around the fences in increasing numbers. Glenn and Maggie led teams to whittle away at them for most of the day, but a steady stream poured in to take the place of the vanquished. There was a disturbance beyond the treeline and Rick focused his binoculars to get a better look. He soon saw Daryl and Jonah cutting down walkers that were lumbering towards them. He signalled to Carol and Sasha, who were patrolling near the gate, and he ran down to assist them. They battled with difficulty to clear a safe path for their friends to get back inside the prison. The fighting stopped them inquiring about their missing comrades until they were all finally on the right side of the gate.

"Where's Michonne and Tyreese?" Sasha asked as she looked around, desperate for any sign of her brother.

"We decided we could cover more ground if we split up; we took east and they went west," Jonah explained.

"You shoulda stayed together," the sister was deeply concerned about her absent brother.

"They can take care of themselves, ain't no need to worry," Daryl tried to offer reassurance.

"So, did you find anything?" Rick asked.

"We followed some fresh tyre tracks, looked like a truck made 'em, but we didn't find it, or any trace of Ol' One-Eye. We did see a bunch of walkers on the road, maybe fifty or more, but it wasn't the herd from before, not all of it at least," the hunter said.

"I hope to God, Michonne and Tyreese get back here fast with something we can use on the Governor. The dead we can just about take care of, if the numbers stay where they're at now, but folks need reassurance over the other threat," their leader said as he resumed his lookout.

"The natives getting restless again?" Daryl asked.

"Let's just say that one way or another, I have a feeling all hell is gonna break loose," Rick sighed.

He knew they'd long been living in denial to some extent, but when the alternative was to contemplate the mass slaughter of everyone they cared about, it seemed a forgivable indulgence.

The sight of a dark figure out in the woods, moving through the trees at a lightening pace, drew Rick's attention. He tried to focus his binoculars but the light had faded too much for him to be able to get a clear view.

"There's somebody out there," he said as they scrambled back towards the fence to try and get a closer look.

The swishing sound of a blade cutting through the air and any walkers in its path, soon confirmed to them that Michonne had returned. They opened the gate to let her in and she burst through it in a wild-eyed frenzy.

"He's got Tyreese, and he's comin' to get us," she yelled.

Sasha cried out in anguish.

Michonne knew his sister was looking to her for an explanation, but she felt so wretched, all she could do was reach out to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. The three of them had been growing close over the months since they joined the prison group, and the thought that one of them might be gone forever, tore her up.

Rick began ordering everyone to get ready for the imminent attack. They needed to arm up the best they could and grab as many supplies as possible in the event of them needing to beat a hasty retreat.

"Tell me all you know," he demanded of Michonne as they headed back to the cell block.

"He's got a massive truck and a couple of military vehicles. I only saw him and three other men but there mighta been more of 'em in the back. We found them on the road a couple of miles from Woodbury, they'd stopped for who-knows-what reason, and Tyreese and I tried to get a closer look. He was ahead of me and I got held up taking out a couple of walkers. The Governor already had Tyreese by the time I got to the edge of the woodland, but he didn't see me. He started beating on Ty and asking him who he was with, but he refused to give me up," she said.

"So you left him there?" Sasha questioned angrily.

"I didn't have a choice," Michonne stated.

"The Governor said he was gonna head straight over here, and I had to get back to warn you."

Sasha was shaking with fear for her brother and desperately hoping that he was somehow still alive. The only sliver of hope was that maybe the Governor wanted him as a hostage to trade for Michonne, like he had with Beth. But that scenario gave her no cause to be confident, not given how crazy the man was.

The prison was soon a scene of pandemonium as folks began to panic and contemplate fleeing.

"We're leaving NOW," Maggie screamed at Glenn as she grabbed for random supplies in a state of near hysteria.

"What about Hershel? Beth? We can't just leave them," he argued.

"I'll get daddy, but we ain't stayin' here to die," she said as she handed him the backpack to keep filling, before barging her way through the mob in search of her father.

Maggie soon spied him, trying to counsel the rest of the old folks to keep calm.

"Daddy, you're coming with us," she demanded as she ignored his protests and grabbed his arm to lead him outside.

Rick pushed through the tumultuous crowd in search of Beth and Carl. He shook off the hands that grabbed at him and ignored their accusations and pleas for help in his single-minded attempt to reach his loved ones. He caught sight of his son and called out to him.

"Carl? We need to find Beth and Judith, NOW," he said.

The boy looked furious and afraid in equal measure as he joined in his father's search.

They soon found the young blonde sheltering in one of the cells and she was clutching the baby protectively to her bosom.

"Grab what supplies you can and get to one of the cars," Rick ordered her.

"I ain't going nowhere without you," she said as she grabbed his hand.

"Please, Beth, take Judith and go with Carl. I'm gonna find Daryl and see what we can do, but I need you three to be ready if we have to get outta here." he begged.

She started to protest again, but the pleading look in his eyes stopped her and so she reluctantly obeyed. God knows, he didn't want to be out on the road with a baby, but he feared it might be unavoidable.

Rick made his way back outside to the prison yard, where he was confronted by an angry mob led by Jonah.

"If you knew all the time that this nut-job was out there, why the hell didn't you hunt him down and kill him? Hell, that's what I woulda done, that's what anyone with a lick of sense woulda done," the young man squared up to him.

Daryl saw the confrontation and began making his way over to them, when the low rumbling sound of approaching vehicles, diverted everyone's attention.

"IT'S HIM," Michonne yelled from the guard tower.

A huge truck and two military vehicles loomed into view with their horns blaring out into the night. The noise was drawing in walkers from the surrounding area to join with the shambling hordes that were already at the gate. The scene inside the prison fences was a blur of panic and confusion, as people tried to flee to safety, where no such places existed anymore. The truck, with a maniacally grinning Governor at the wheel, tore through the prison defences with ease leaving them completely exposed. The other vehicles followed on in the truck's wake, with Shumpert behind the wheel of the first, and the other driven by a rough looking man with a near-identical passenger. The walkers surged forward with the human invaders, and soon gunfire was being exchanged between the Governor's small group and Rick's few faithful allies.

Beth clutched a wailing Judith protectively to her as Carl tried to lead them through the rabble to get to the Hyundai. Maggie, Glenn and Hershel were firing their rifles out at the attackers as they attempted to get to another of the prison vehicles. There were screams from every direction as fleeing members of the group were either hit by stray bullets or torn apart by walkers

The Governor was intent on getting to Michonne, but his men had quickly fallen and their corpses readily set upon by the undead. Sasha was desperate for news of her brother and she ran to tackle the eye-patch wearing fiend before he could reach his target.

"Where's Tyreese?" She demanded as she trained her gun on him.

The Governor just laughed and looked past her to his prime objective; the katana wielding warrior.

"You'll find what's left of him tied to the back of my truck," he sneered.

Sasha let out a scream of horror and she fired her gun, it was almost an automatic action as she was no longer in control of her faculties. The bullet skimmed the Governor's chest but he barely reacted, other than to forcefully kick her out of the way. He was finally face to face with Michonne, and his eyes blazed with hatred as he prepared to unleash his rage on her.

"We've had this date from the beginning." he said as they flew at each other in a blur of combined fury.

"The prison's lost, we gotta get outta here," Rick yelled as he fired on the walkers that were pushing through the second fence and pouring into the yard.

If the surviving members of the group heard, or were able to follow his lead he couldn't tell. His focus was on saving his own loved ones, and nothing else mattered to him in that moment. He saw that Beth, Carl and Judith had made it to the Hyundai, but they were caught up in a fracas with Jonah. It looked like he was trying to get in the driver's seat but the young blonde was fighting to fend him off. He pulled his gun on her but she reacted faster and plunged her knife deep into his shoulder. Rick raced over to them, all the while firing on the walkers that were almost at his heels. He got to the car in time to drag a stunned Jonah out onto the ground and then dove behind the wheel. Carl was holding his sister protectively to him in the back seat as his father jumped in beside the young blonde.

"Where's daddy? Did you see him? What about Maggie and Glenn? Beth questioned.

He didn't reply because he didn't know if they'd made it or not, a few vehicles had left, but he'd been too busy fighting to know who was in them.

"We gotta go NOW," he insisted as ravenous walkers began to claw at the windows.

"But my family, I, I can't leave daddy and Maggie," she sobbed.

"Beth, we're your family," Rick said.

She nodded through her tears as he accelerated them away from the carnage and the dead. They drove through the torn down fences, leaving behind their tattered dreams and they didn't look back.

* * *

**The line spoken by the Governor to Michonne: "We've had this date from the beginning." Is taken from 'A Streetcar Named Desire, and is an exchange between the characters, Stanley and Blanche Dubois.**

**Thank you for reading this story and please leave a review - Mrs P.**


	24. Chapter 24

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 24

The home that Rick had worked so hard to build at the prison was in ruins, and his group were either scattered or dead, but those he held dearest were still by his side, now all he had to do was keep it that way.

Beth jerked out of the slumber that she kept threatening to sink into, and the tears began to pool in her eyes once again. Rick observed her with concern through the rear-view mirror, as she sat huddled on the back seat of the car with Judith on her lap.

"You're taking us back to King County?" Carl questioned with incredulity.

He had been staring sullenly out of the passenger side window. The road ahead looked like any other in the dark, but now the sun was rising, he could see some familiar landmarks.

"I barely got any ammo left, and we need supplies," Rick didn't have the patience for his son's attitude.

He stole another glance at Beth, and saw her wipe away her tears.

"Shouldn't we try and find the others first? What if they're looking for us?" Carl argued.

"Maggie did mention going back to the farm," the young blonde recalled.

"We ain't seen nobody on the road, and we're exposed out here. We don't know who else got out, for all we know it might be just us now," he said with regret.

"What about the farm?" Beth repeated.

"We ran from there, just like we ended up running from the prison. I'm sorry, but we can't go back," he said.

"But Morgan's crazy, and he might even be dead by now, then what do we do?" Carl asked.

Rick sighed and threw him a look that said he wasn't being helpful. He hoped the boy would take the hint to keep quiet, and surprisingly, he did. They drove onwards in silence back to the place where this nightmare had begun for both of them.

* * *

King County seemed as quiet on the surface, as the last time they had gone back there. Rick parked up as close to Main Street as he could, and was relieved to see the walker traps were all in place. He hoped that meant that Morgan was still alive, although what state of mind they would find him in was of greater concern than finding him dead.

"I'm gonna go take a quick look around, you three stay here. Carl, watch over Beth and your sister," Rick instructed.

"But, dad…" the boy began to argue, but his father soon cut him off.

"Look, I only got so many bullets, and we don't know what's waiting for us in there. I need you to take care of things here until I get back, okay?" He said.

Carl sighed but nodded, and began to look out for approaching threats.

Rick turned his attention to Beth, and he took her hand and tenderly kissed it.

"Just sit tight for now, I'll be back real soon," he promised her.

She began fumbling around to locate her pistol, which still had a few bullets left in it.

"You should take this," she held out the gun with a shaky hand.

"No, you might need it," he said and smiled to offer her reassurance.

She nodded and placed the pistol back into her pocket.

Rick tenderly stroked his daughter's head, and then he began to carefully advance towards the walker traps. He could see they were still being maintained, which was another hopeful sign. There were all kinds of live birds and rodents in the cages that were squawking and squealing as he cautiously picked his way through them. He successfully navigated the obstacles until he reached the place where, the man who had once saved his life had been holed up.

"Morgan?" He called up the stairs in a loud whisper.

"It's me, Rick Grimes, I need your help."

He waited for a reply, but none came. He held his Colt Python out as he carefully began to climb the stairs, when a dark figure loomed ahead of him.

"Thought I'd seen the last of you, what happened to that safe place of yours, a prison wasn't it? Yeah, that's right. What happened to your prison, Rick?" Morgan asked.

He seemed to be lucid at least, which was a great relief to the former sheriff's deputy.

"We got overrun, by walkers and others. We lost a lot of people, maybe all of them, I don't know. But I got my son, daughter and a friend here with me, and we need your help," Rick pleaded.

"So you lost the fight, huh? There ain't nothing left for you there, and there ain't nothing left for you here, there ain't nothing left for nobody nowhere," Morgan ranted.

"I got my family, and I'm asking you to please give us shelter, just for a couple of days, and then we'll be on our way."

A gunshot rang out and Rick ran back into the street to see what was going on. The Hyundai was surrounded by half a dozen walkers and they were clawing hungrily at the glass. Carl managed to shoot a couple, but that only succeeded in drawing more in. Rick worked to entice them towards the traps and succeeded in impaling a few. Morgan followed him out into the street and helped to snare the rest of the lurkers onto the spikes. He looked further down the road and saw a dark-haired boy emerging from the car along with a young blonde girl who was carrying a baby.

"Morgan, you gonna let us stay or not?" Rick inquired without attempting to conceal his desperation.

He stared off into the distance for a moment and then looked back at the former sheriff's deputy before giving him a reluctant nod.

"Thank you."

Rick was relieved, although he knew it was only a short-term solution to their problem of finding safe harbour. He went over to his family and put a protective arm around Beth's shoulder as he guided them to their temporary refuge. They climbed up the stairs to Morgan's living quarters with due caution, as he pointed out what they needed to avoid. The furnishings were spartan, and most of the room was given over to storing weaponry, as it had been before. The walls were still covered with scrawl of mostly random words and phrases. Carl knew what to expect and didn't turn a hair, but Beth appeared concerned and looked on agog.

"I'm gonna need to ask for a few more guns," Rick said sheepishly.

"I figured as much," Morgan said as he rolled his eyes at him.

"I guess I should introduce everybody." the former sheriff's deputy said in an attempt to change the subject.

"You've already met Carl, my son, and here's Beth, with my daughter, Judith," he explained.

They exchanged awkward greetings and the baby began to fuss.

"Ma-ma-ma-ma," she wailed.

The young blonde was still uncomfortable with Judith's attempts at saying her first word, even though Rick had already offered a reasonable explanation for it. She could see Carl was glaring angrily in her direction, but the little girl babbled on regardless.

"I think she's just hungry," Beth said nervously.

"I got some food, but she probably wants her momma's milk, hmm? She's such a pretty little thing, just like you, but she ain't got your blonde hair, no, she got her daddy's colouring," Morgan said innocently.

Beth's discomfort increased a hundredfold at the erroneous conclusion he had jumped to. She began to blush furiously and Rick stepped in to set the record straight.

"My wife, Judith's mother, died in childbirth," he said as a flash of pain travelled over his features, and then it was gone.

Morgan mumbled his apologies and mentioned his dead wife, Jenny, before falling into a brooding silence.

They got settled in as best they could and had something to eat, whilst their host went to get them some sleeping bags that he had stored. He then went to the baby store with Rick to get supplies for Judith. They got some clothes and other essential items to take back with them.

Carl kept watch whilst his father was gone, and there was an uneasy silence between him and Beth. He could see that she looked upset and took pity on her.

"I think Maggie, Glenn and Hershel made it out of the prison, I saw them by the truck before the Governor tore the fence down," he said.

She gave him a sad smile and nodded her head hopefully; she wanted so badly to believe her blood kin were still alive.

The boy resumed his watch out of the window and he looked on, anxious for his dad to return safely. It didn't take long for Rick and his companion to appear, and the boy let out a sigh of relief as he went down onto the street to help them inside with their packages.

"Y'all make yourselves at home, I gotta clear," Morgan said as he headed back out.

"You need help?" Rick offered.

"No, I got it," he said.

Carl began to rummage around in the boxes that they'd just brought in, while his dad went over to talk to Beth.

"Hey, how you holding up?" He asked as he tenderly stroked her cheek.

"Alright, I guess. Carl thinks that maybe daddy, Maggie and Glenn made it out, and I've been praying that he's right 'cause I can't bear to think of the alternative," she said as her lips began to tremble.

Rick pulled her into his arms and gently petted her hair.

"I sure wouldn't count them out, not after everything we've been through, but you know how crazy things got back at the prison. I just wouldn't want you to get your hopes up is all, and even if they are out there somewhere, we might not be able to find them," he said.

"We could always try the farm," she ventured, hoping that he would reconsider going back there.

He didn't answer and she couldn't help crying a little as she buried her face against his chest.

"Hey, you've still got me and Judith, and Carl. I'm gonna take care of you, just like I promised your daddy I would," Rick vowed.

He desperately hoped that Hershel and some of the others had made it too, and he wondered if it was worth returning to the farm, just in case. He had brought his loved ones back to King County after all, so maybe they could take Beth home for one last quick visit too.

"We're gonna need to find some more gas, if we're gonna make that journey," he said.

Beth took his meaning and reached up to kiss him.

"I got you some clothes and underwear, there's a boutique the next street over that ain't been too badly looted, I'll take you by there tomorrow," he promised.

She gratefully accepted the clean garments and excused herself to go into the other room to get changed.

"You got those clothes from the place mom used to shop at?" Carl asked.

The boy looked angry and he let out a loud sigh when his father didn't answer him.

"Keep your eyes front and centre," Rick warned his son as he could see him trying to sneak peeks at Beth.

"She ain't got nothing worth looking at anyway," the boy huffed as he grabbed a sleeping bag and went to lie down next to his slumbering sister.

Rick silently begged to differ, as he observed her reflection in the glass door, she was slipping on the lace panties he'd got for her. He cradled his rifle in his lap to hide his arousal, and wondered how he could ever get to make love to her in such a confined living area. He soon heard his son's soft snoring and knew that he had to take his chance.

"Beth, I need you so bad," he whispered against her neck as he pressed himself up against her back.

She instantly felt how true his words were and turned around to open herself up to him. She needed him too, and concerned as she was that Morgan might stumble upon them in the height of passion, she didn't try to stop him. They knew they wouldn't need much time; just long enough for them both to rejoice in being alive.


	25. Chapter 25

The Twisting Knife of Loving You

Chapter 25

Rick took up position by the window so he could keep watch on the street below. Morgan had not returned, but had been sighted occasionally wheeling walker corpses to his pyre. Beth was brushing her hair out and struggling to stifle her yawns.

"I'm so tired, d'you mind if I try and sleep a while?" She asked.

"No, go ahead, I'll wait for Morgan to get back," he said and helped her unfurl a couple of sleeping bags.

"Why don't you try and get some rest too, hmm? You'll hear if anyone comes in, and there are all those booby traps," Beth fixed him with a look of concern, knowing he was exhausted.

Rick nodded and they laid down side by side wrapped in each other's arms. He didn't intend to fall asleep but his eyelids were so heavy, he couldn't stop himself. He stirred a little while later and saw Morgan, bathed in moonlight, adding another word to the wall. Rick fell straight back into a deep slumber and when he did properly awaken a few hours after, he couldn't be sure his sighting of their host had been anything more than a dream. He looked over at the wall and saw one word that might have been new; _redemption. _The muted light of dawn was starting to creep through the un-shuttered windows and he looked around for Morgan, but the man was nowhere to be seen. Rick hoped that everything was alright and he carefully pulled himself up onto his feet, so as not to disturb his family, and went out to look for him.

He crept down to the street and slowly made his way along the sidewalk. He didn't want to let the entrance to their shelter out of his sight, conscious as he was of the need to protect his sleeping loved ones. But his increasingly urgent need to answer a call of nature made him duck into an alleyway to relieve himself. Rick kept watch for any sign of danger, and was ready to return to the street when he heard Morgan's voice coming from somewhere close by. He looked out onto the sidewalk to check that the coast was still clear and once satisfied that it was, he turned back down the alley. It looked like it led onto the backyard of the place they were staying in, and he cautiously made his way down it. The closer he got to the sound of Morgan's chattering, the louder the accompanying sound of growling and rattling chains became. Rick reached the far corner of the building and tentatively peered around it, curious to see who the other man was talking too. The tragic sight before his eyes filled him with deep sorrow; Morgan had his undead son on a leash and was feeding him live rodents. He soon felt as if he was intruding on a private moment and quickly retreated back to his family.

Beth had awoken to find Rick gone and a sense of panic had overtaken her, after everything they'd just lost they needed him more than ever. She heard someone carefully climbing the stairs and scrambled around for her pistol, only to let out a huge sigh of relief as Rick appeared from behind the drapes.

"Thank God," she exclaimed and lowered her gun.

"Sorry, I had to go pee, and I was worried about Morgan," he explained.

"Did you find him, is he okay?" Beth asked.

"His son's a walker, and he's got him chained up in the backyard feeding him live rats. Does that sound okay to you?" Rick said.

She flinched at the image but then something relevant occurred to her.

"I ain't gonna sit in judgement, I'm sure you remember back on the farm, we had a barn full of our nearest and dearest, including my momma and my brother. I think we knew in our hearts what they really were, and that they weren't ever gonna get better, but we just wasn't ready to let them go. Maybe Morgan ain't ready to say goodbye to his son yet?" She reasoned.

"Yeah, maybe," Rick sighed.

He thought about his own descent after Lori's death, and how he slipped into a kind of madness fuelled by his own grief. Beth guessed what he was thinking about and she reached out to cover his hand with her own. Rick was jolted from his reverie upon feeling her touch and they held each other's gaze for a long moment. He was about to kiss her when they heard Judith stirring in the next room.

"Ma-ma-ma-ma," she wailed.

"One day she'll be able to say dada and then I'll teach her how to say Beth," the young blonde couldn't hide her unease.

"It's okay," Rick sought to reassure her.

"She already knows who she wants," he said with a smile.

Beth had been a mother to his daughter in every way that mattered, and he had reconciled her being referred to as such in his own mind. He knew his son would need a lot more convincing, but it was just the four of them now and they needed each other.

"I can't believe I slept so long."

Carl's voice broke into his musings as he appeared in the doorway, looking bedraggled from heavy sleep.

"Your mom always used to say you could sleep through anything," Rick said with a fond smile as he got up and checked out of the windows.

"Dad, I was thinking, this used to be our hometown so why don't we just stay here?" His son asked tentatively.

"It used to be our home, but there ain't nothing here for us anymore. Morgan says there ain't much left in the way of food supplies, and we need to try and find someplace more secure. If it was just us, then maybe we could get by, but we got Judith to think about," his father explained.

"But where else can we go?" Carl questioned.

Rick looked over at Beth.

"We're gonna load up the car with as much useful stuff as we can find, and then we're gonna head back to Hershel's farm. If the others made it out of the prison, we might find them there," he explained.

"I thought you said we weren't gonna go back there, but she sweet talked you into it, I suppose?" Carl switched his harsh glare from his father to the young blonde.

"Hey, don't start in on Beth and lose the attitude. We're gonna have to pull together to get through this, or else we won't make it," Rick said.

"You never listen to me; you never listen to anyone except her. I said we'd end up losing the prison, and I know Daryl and some of the others warned you too, but you didn't wanna hear it. You had chance after chance to kill the Governor but you didn't, and if all the others are dead because of what he did, then that's on you too," Carl ranted.

"Are you done?" His father inquired.

The boy stood unapologetically defiant.

"The world mighta gone to hell, but some things never change; whatever you do and no matter what choices you make, there's always somebody claiming they coulda done it better. Every time we lose someone it's like a knife to my gut, and that knife just keeps on twisting and twisting until I think I can't take it anymore, but I have too. I gotta keep on because I got you, all of you, and y'all need me, even if you think I'm the worst dad and worst leader ever. I never asked for folks to look to me for anything, but they did, and all I could do was my best. I tried to put saving lives ahead of taking lives, more fool me, huh?" Rick looked defeated as he ignored Beth's words of comfort and headed out onto the street.

The weight of the last few days finally crashed down on him full force, and for a second he felt as if he couldn't catch his breath. He sank to the ground and folded up in silent agony.

Morgan was pacing about in an agitated way, and upon seeing the former sheriff's deputy crouching on the edge of the sidewalk, he went over to him.

"We gotta talk," he said as a dazed looking Rick eventually looked up to meet his eye.

"I ain't accustomed to having folks around, I got used to it being just me, I expect you'll be leaving though, like you said," Morgan gave him an expectant look.

"I was thinking we'd stay another night, at least," the former sheriff's deputy said as he recovered his senses.

"No. Not with me you ain't. I gotta be on my own, I just gotta. I told you there ain't nothing here for you, so why don't you take your girlfriend and your kids and just leave?" The other man said with a firmness that didn't invite argument.

"What if we moved into one of the other buildings, just for a couple more days?" Rick desperately looked around for a suitable place.

Morgan fixed him with stern look.

"One more night, and then you take your guns and you go," he said.

Rick put his head back into his hands and he could feel that knife in his gut twisting again. The loss of the prison was a heavy blow, and he was only just beginning to process what it truly meant. He hadn't been forced to live on the road since before Judith was born, and for all the troubles the old group had, they were stronger together. His first priority was to keep his family safe, but the odds were stacked against them. If he could get them to the farm, and if the others were there, then they might stand a chance, but that was a whole lot of ifs.

Beth watched him from the window and her heart sank to see the depths of his despair. He always tried his best to stay strong for them, and he always had. The only time he'd completely crumbled was after Lori died, and even then he had come through for them in their time of need.

"Carl, take your sister," she commanded and giving him no chance to argue she placed Judith into his arms.

"You can hate me all you like if it makes you feel better, but I ain't gonna let your dad think he's on his own through this," she said and hurried outside to join him.

"Rick?" Beth tenderly petted his hair.

He let out a heavy sigh but didn't turn to look at her.

"Y'know, I gotta be honest, we might not make it on the road. There's a hell of a lot more guys like the Governor out there, and they'll always have the upper hand over me. I've killed, but every time I take a life, I become a little more like them and a little less like me. I don't wanna have to become a monster, just so I can slay 'em," he said.

"I want you to know that I'm gonna help in every way I can once we hit the road. I ain't too bad a shot, and I got all the skills that Michonne taught me, I can drive too. You ain't gotta carry the weight all on your own 'cause I'm gonna do my share of the lifting. Carl will come around, I'm sure he will, and we can get through this," she said as she leant over to hug him.

Rick slowly turned around to look at her and she could hardly bear to see the sadness etched on his careworn face.

"Anything you need, you only gotta ask," Beth said as she smoothed his unruly hair out of his eyes.

"What if there's no-one waiting for us at the farm?" He questioned.

Beth didn't want to contemplate that possibility, but she needed to make him feel better.

"If we make it that far, we can make it further still, until we find someplace we can call home," she said.

"What would I do if I didn't have you?" He asked in a melancholy tone.

"You ain't never gonna have to find out," she covered his lips with her own in a sweet kiss.

* * *

**Rick's line about not wanting to become a monster was inspired by the famous Friedrich Nietzsche quote: **

_**"Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you."**_

**It's very appropriate for Rick, and most of the surviving characters on The Walking Dead, I think. Because they have a battle raging inside of them between holding onto their humanity and becoming ever more savage to combat the increasing threats against their survival.**

**Thank you for continuing to read this story and please leave a review. - Mrs P.**


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